FIVE: OLIVIA

                                    

                                          
"Everything alright, Liv," Kennedy asks with genuine concern as I make my way back into our room.
"Fine. I just didn't want Spencer to think I was being rude or dismissive, so I ran out to apologize." I offer her a smile laced with guilt as I spin my web of lies.
"Ah! You didn't have to do that, Liv. I'm sure he wasn't upset. I promise you; he's not that kind of guy at all. You'll love him the more you get to know him. Just wait!" She begins hanging some of my clothes up in the closet, and her words ring in my head. 
I don't need to get to know him.
You don't want me to get to know him, Kennedy. 
I've had two interactions with Spencer, and it's already too much. Too many emotions I can't make sense of. Too mysterious and enticing. Too handsome and magnetic. My breathing hitches as I think about how I feel when his eyes are on me— all shivery and strange. I don't like it, at least I don't want to. Yet, I crave it. The less I'm in his vicinity, the better— for all of us. 
I don't say any of that because I'm not absolutely insane. Instead, I settle on "that's good; you seem to really like him." 
In a perfect world, Kennedy and I would never talk about Spencer ever again. Based on the way her face lights up at the mention of his name, I get the feeling he may be all we're talking about for a while. His mere existence feels like a threat, but how can I possibly tell Kennedy that? I'm being ridiculous. 
"I do like him a lot, Liv. I know it seems fast and crazy, but when I'm with him, it's like I've known him forever."
It's not crazy. I can relate a little too intimately. 
"I'm happy for you, Kenny!" And I am, but right now, I feel like I'm standing in the half-light, only showing her what I want her to see. Do I tell her I've met Spencer before? What good does that do? It doesn't change anything. I don't want Spencer. He is hers. I don't even know him. One party. One kiss. Shake it off, Liv. 
Soon there will be another party, another kiss. And, Spencer won't look at me. This excruciatingly painful trance will be broken, and we'll all be better for it. 
"Hey, sis! Hate to cut out, but I need to get ready for my meeting! We still on for dinner?" His expression is a mix between hope and fear.
"Omg, I'm so excited for you guys! I told Spence I'm sure ya'll have nothing to worry about! I don't know much of anything about football, but I'm sure you guys got this." Kennedy excitedly chimes in before I get the chance to answer. 
"What exactly is happening at this meeting?" I look between the two of them, hoping to be clued in. 
"Depth chart is getting released, babygirl." This time the voice is my dad's.
"And your brother here is hoping he did enough to win the QB1 spot." My mom follows up.
Perfect. Everybody in this room knew it was a big day for my twin except for me. Sums up the new nature of our relationship perfectly. 
"Oh. Good luck! Uh, yea. Text me when it's done, and we can meet for dinner to celebrate." I smile at him, and he reaches out to hug me. 
I squeeze tight as I fight the lone tear falling from my eye. Will we ever be out of the woods? 
"I love you, kid." He whispers.
"Always," I respond.
Jordan finally lets go and heads out of the door. 
"Dad and I were gonna go grab some beignets, Liv. Do you want to join?" My mom asks as she picks up her purse throwing it over her shoulder.
"No, I think I'm going to stay and finish getting the room together. Don't worry; we're all still on for breakfast tomorrow." I reach out for her hand.