15 | Cruel tears

                                    

                                          

                            

                                
                            
                              
                                  
                              
                              
                                
                                  
                                  
                                
                              
                             
                            
                            
                          
                          
18 
      I tried my best to wipe my tears, but the more I tried the harder they fell. I was practically choking on my salty tears, my brother had betrayed me in the worst way he possibly could. My hands were so busy trying to make myself look presentable that I wasn't paying attention to where I was going, I bumped into a hard chest.  
"Woah, easy darling." Kaz grabbed my shoulders holding me in place, my hands trying even harder to disguise my tears.
My eyes fell to the floor along with my head, mentally praying he hadn't seen how much of a hot mess I am. "Sorry, I didn't see you there." I mumbled under my breath.
His finger gently pressed against my chin, tilting my head up. I gave up, it's not like I could suddenly stop crying and make it all go away. I searched his eyes for anything but they were blank, his eyes followed a tear down my cheek. This is the second time this man has seen me cry, he probably thinks I'm doing all this to seek attention as my dad does.
"Come on." He whispered while locking his hand with mine, he pulled me inside his room before completely attacking my mouth with his.
His hands locked against my wet cheeks, his lips pressed against mine hard like he was trying to extract my pain. My hands grabbed both his wrist deepening the kiss, it was a great distraction which I think he was aiming for. His tongue ran across my bottom lip causing me to let out a soft whimper, enjoying the sound he groaned against my lips. 
We pulled apart, our noses touched and my eyes were still sealed shut. His thumb softly stroked my cheek wiping away my tears, his breathing was calm and amusing.
"I don't like seeing you cry." He said, his voice husky and unsure. I could hear the fear in his voice, the uncertainty of us leaking through his voice. 
He's not sure, and I need someone for once in my life to be sure about me. The reality of it all is that his son, my fiancé, is not only going to be my husband but the father of my child. I can't do this to Bodhi anymore, not when things have gotten complicated, not when I'm feeling things I shouldn't be feeling for his dad. 
My eyes fluttered open, his beautiful eyes appeared and it made me overthink everything. 
"Talk to me." He begged, with all we've been doing he has shared his past yet I can't seem to share even my present with him. "I want to know something about you, even if it's your pain."
I don't want this part of him, I want him to be mean to me.
Just talk to him Talitha, my inner voice said. If I do that, it'll ruin everything. We're not supposed to talk, we're supposed to fuck and that's it. I can't give him any more of myself, not when he's not even sure about me.
My lips slammed against his, my body was trying to move as quickly as possible. My hands started clawing at my shirt, my main goal was to get completely naked but he roughly pulled away from my harsh kisses.
"Why do we always have to have sex?" He asked, he was far away from me trying to put distance between us.
"Because this is what we are to each other." I said, clearly frustrated. "Just a hard fuck."
He chuckles dryly, his hand running across his chin with certain anger inside his eyes. "Fine." 
He grabbed a handful of my hair and tossed me on the bed with a thump, it hurt when I banged my arm on the wooden frame. He quickly pushed down his pants and boxers along with his shirt, he climbed on the bed and forced me on all fours. He roughly pulled my shorts off and ripped my panties, I gulped at how rough he was being with me. He didn't give any sort of warning before pushing inside me, my body buckled slightly at the pain. 
He refused to even look at me, and I think that hurt me the most.
He wasn't talking or touching me, he kept his hands on my hips and nowhere else. Tears filled my eyes, he was being cruel to me because of what I had said. He was thrusting inside me hard, and it was something I wasn't enjoying but it wasn't something I didn't want either, that's the worse part. He slapped my butt cheek hard causing my body to flinch, he repeatedly was hitting the same area and my body couldn't handle the pain any longer.
I didn't like this Kaz, this wasn't him.
"Stop it." I cried, quietly. 
His body immediately stopped, it was like he froze for a second. He roughly jerked me off his dick, I laid flat on my stomach in disbelief. There was no satisfaction, no warmth, no butterflies. I felt like a whore, and it made me feel dirty. My breathing was skipping as heavy tears fell from my eyes, my hands were shaking so badly. 
"Get out." His voice was harsh.
I gulped down a sob, I slowly stood up on my wobbly legs. My hands touched my dry lips which were quivering so much, I was trying to swallow down my pain but it wasn't working. I shamelessly picked up my clothes and put them back on, he didn't look at me once. He kept his glare outside his window, this is my fault. I wanted him to be cruel to me, I wanted him to be mean and spiteful but it didn't hurt any less. 
I couldn't stop crying, my body was shaking with tears. 
He turned around to face me, but I didn't pay much attention because I was trying to squeeze inside my shorts but my butt was swollen with his handprint. When I finally was dressed, he strode right over to me but my hand pressed against his bare stomach stopping him. 
Suddenly my body had a mind of its own and my hand slammed hard across his cheek. I was hurt before this and now I'm completely crushed.
"You will never touch me again." I whispered, my voice cracked. I meant every word, his eyes shifted like reality came crashing down on him. 
He stared at me, confused. I was terrified of him even though I asked for it, I begged for this to happen. He didn't try to kiss me again, his legs carried him back as he carefully watched my body language. 
My glossy eyes stared at him, my shoulders were tense and my body was aching with his touch. My ginger hair was sticking to my wet cheeks and my hand was shaking when twisting the doorknob. 
With a small hiccup, I exited the room ripping my eyes off of him.
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Ouch, that hurted.