The Hardest Things (HotWings)

                                    

                                          
Art belongs to @eagle11018 on Twitter. In this story, Hawks is actually a villain. I haven't watched any part of season 5 yet, nor have I read the manga, so please don't spoil it any of it. I do know some of what happens because I'm a nosy person who has access to the internet, but I don't know everything, and would like to keep it that way. Thank you for being patient with me and please enjoy! (>v<)
~•~
Something I've learned throughout my life, is that things are easier to break and destroy than they are to build and create. A lot of concentration and hard work goes into building things but all it takes is a little too much pressure and, boom!, you only have the remnants of what was. The only thing harder than creating, is fixing. Fixing is the hardest thing to do because you have an expectation of what the thing you're fixing should appear to be; you want it the same as it was before. That is the hardest thing to do. Here's how I know:
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Fear. That's what I felt when I looked at him for the first time. Not looking as in seeing, but perceiving, understanding. Now that I think about it, it's not fear that I felt, but reverence. I saw him in a new light, and that changed my whole world. Unfortunately, that is also what destroyed it.
"What?" He asked, and I jolted. Dabi's voice, the same one I'd been hearing for almost a year, his dark voice that was rough and broken crackled in my ear. Shivers ran down my spine as I shook my head. "Alright then, creep-o."
He pulled his jacket off from around his shoulders and covered his torso like a blanket. I looked at him with curiosity. This man was clearly insane - there were three blankets piled up next to him on the couch where he lay.
He pointed to the blankets and smiled. "They're the other's. I ain't gonna stink 'em up with my rotten skin." I nodded and his smile dropped. "You ain't gonna talk anymore? You were full of words yesterday." I blushed and shook my head again as he laughed. Yesterday I couldn't get myself to shut up, going on and on about how I think some of the male heroes are super hot and that I'd like to meet them and have a chance to kill them. The entire LoV had just sat there, listening to my rambling - very patiently, might I add - before going on about their business like they were before I started talking. That day was the first time in a long time I had felt pure embarrassment.
"You're an odd one, y'know that?" He was staring at me so intently, that it looked like he was trying to see into my soul. Looking back, I think he probably was. "Leaving your home to join us? It's insanity, if you think about it. We're just a bunch of low-life criminals who think they can make a difference in this world. Half of us are crazy, and the other half are down right insane. You know that, right?"
"I do," I croaked out. "but I don't really care."
"Why though?"
I thought about my answer, trying to come up with a valid excuse other than 'I'm tired of pretending to be fine. With you guys, it's okay to not be okay. I'm accepted here'. But I couldn't think of anything, so I just shrugged. "I don't know." I replied. "Why did you join?"
"Like I said, we think we can make a difference. I just want to see my..." He trailed off, looking a bit lost in his own world, before shaking his head as if to stop whatever train of thought he was on. "But that's not the point."
"Then what is the point?" I asked. I don't know what I was saying, or how it related to the strange conversation that we were having, but I guess I was just trying to keep things moving.
"That's... That's a really good question." He looked at me and smiled a crooked, stapled smile. "I guess we'll figure it out."
I smiled back and wrapped my wings around myself, as a gentle silence claimed the air. My mind raced, as I questioned all of my decisions leading up to this moment. Maybe I should've declined their offer to join the LoV, told them I was fine on my own. But the truth is, I wasn't. I was about to die when they found me almost a year ago, and now I'm thriving. My wings were so broken and beat and you could see my ribs through my shirt. I have a bit of a gut now, if I'm being truly honest. Part of me feels guilty for taking advantage of them like this, but the other parts knows that I did what I had to survive. I wouldn't be here now if I hadn't taken Shigaraki's helping hand when I did.
In full, I was really just using them to make a name for myself. I wanted infamy and glory. I wanted people to know who I am and cry out in fear when they heard the name Hawks. I realized all too late that it's a feeble dream, but I guess there's not much I can do now.
We must have sat there in comfortable silence far at least a half hour as I contemplated my existence and Dabi imagined his own world. Years later, he would come to tell me that he was daydreaming about a flame. That's all; just a flame. But that flame would slowly, over the months, progress into a feather.
There was quiet thud, followed by a short groan and a giggle that broke the silence. I looked at Dabi, but it didn't look like he noticed the noise. There was another thud, louder this time, but this one was followed by a string of swears and more giggling. Suddenly, a head appeared in the doorway.
"Hey Dabi-chan?" Toga asked, her voice coated in sugar. Dabi just grunted in return. "Can you help? We've got a bit of a burn situation." Suddenly, there was a shout from the stairwell and another thud.
"Oh, would ya look at that! Clean up in aisle four!"
Toga disappeared and Dabi stood up. He stretched, yawned, then groaned before looking at me and winking. "Grab me the med kit and some deluded bleach, will ya?" He asked, and tossed his jacket at me. I caught it and chuckled.
"Sure thing hot stuff." I replied, them scurried out of the room before I could even feel embarrassed.
~•~
1045 words
Hey y'all!! So a little update about me: I'm trying to actually get motivation to write, which means an actual update schedule, (hopefully) better writing, and more of your favorite characters. Unfortunately, I cannot start doing that this month, as I am finishing up this school year and there is a shitload of tests that I will be doing. I feel like every time I post, I end up saying the same thing over and over again, but this time I'm serious about my writing. I will still be trying to get stories out, but just in case, please don't get your hopes up for a consistent scheduled just yet. That being said, I do enjoy the concept of this story line in particular and I might extend of off it. Key word: might. Anyway, I hope y'all are having a good morning, afternoon, night, whatever and I'll get the next part out as soon as possible!