13. Magenta pink of longing

                                    

                                          
"Answer," Lan Zhan stubbornly insisted.
Wei Wuxian suddenly gave up on the attempts of avoiding with questions of his own. It was not working anyway.
"Lan Zhan, I have already told you. It is not easy to explain in just a few words."
"Then come to Gusu with me. You can have all the time to explain there."
A tremor run through Wei Wuxian's spine. So this was it. Lan Zhan had definitely noticed something. And now he wanted to interrogate him thoroughly, probably by imprisoning him in the Cloud Recesses and getting him admit all about his demonic cultivation. 
This was the worst. There was an ever grater pain in his chest. It was as if something was being broken there. Slowly and painfully. 
Oddly enough, Wei Wuxian was not as distressed by the fact that Lan Zhan wanted to find out his secret as by the overwhelming sensation of losing something very dear. 
Until now, he had not even known what his relationship with the Second Jade was. However, at this moment, it felt like he was losing a friendship he had hoped for so long before this whole war started. 
He did not like Lan Zhan looking at him with such eyes. They were cold, worried and so much more at the same time. And there was definitely annoyance and anger in them as well. 
Oh, what he would have given for such an animated look just half a year ago. But now, it did not hold any weight anymore. He could not be swayed. 
He could not let himself be taken to Gusu, he had much to do. There was a whole war going on. He was one of the only ones with enough power to make a difference in its tide. He could not let himself be imprisoned. Moreover, he also had to meet Jiang Yanli. 
"Gusu?" he asked a little mockingly. There, he was remembering how to behave like his old self little by little. "The place with more than 3000 rules? No, no, no, I will not go. I prefer Yunmeng."
As expected, with his current attitude, Lan Zhan refused to back down: "Wei Ying, do not joke around." 
Anger now prevailed in his eyes. The stuffy feeling in Wei Wuxian's chest was growing. He was losing Lan Zhan, there was no question about this.
Enraged, the Second Jade suddenly closed the gap between them before Wei Wuxian could react. His senses were much duller without a golden core. This part would probably never stop scaring him. He could no longer sense danger like before, he was vulnerable. This could be his downfall should the threat be anyone else but Lan Zhan.
Luckily, no one seemed to notice the flash of panic in his eyes. Lan Zhan was too preoccupied by looking at Jiang Cheng. The later stepped forward as well and put his sword between Wei Wuxian and the Second Jade. 
His brother still cared, Wei Wuxian felt the love emanating from the gesture and it pushed all the other feelings away. 
Wei Wuxian looked at Lan Zhan again. He busied his hands with playing with his flute and observed the other. Nearly all the anger on the Second Jade's face was gone. What stayed could not be described in any other way but worry. Oh, it turned out that he too cared about Wei Wuxian.
This discovery should have perhaps surprised him. But Wei Wuxian was still too preoccupied with keeping his secrets under lock and key. He did not react in any way. 
He just asked for a reason: "Lan Zhan, what do you really want?"
Although he was not actually curious about it, it still felt like the correct thing to do. He had never seen Lan Zhan wearing his emotions this clearly on his face. There must have been something about it. Perhaps it would help Wei Wuxian to understand.