"When was your last period, hon?"
I don't know what it was, but the casual way she asks it, like it's a normal conversation between women all the time. So, with my blushing face, I answered, "Last month...I think." Actually, I don't remember when my last period was. The more I think about it, the more it seems like it's been a while since my unfriendly visitor has shown her ugly head. I am pretty regular, always coming anywhere between the fourth and the sixth of each month. "What's the date today?" I already knew the answer before she responded.
"The seventeenth."
FUCK!
Now that I think about it, the last time I had one was shortly after school started. I knew this, because I thought the universe played some sick joke on me starting school around the same time I start my period, so I am dealing with new school stress while dealing my monthly anger issues. I started mentally freaking out, and Margo definitely saw the worry I was currently not trying to hide. Her next words though, made me want to kill over in hopes no one would know I was gone from this world.
"Honey, are you sexually active?"
Kill me! Kill me now! I wonder if anyone knows anyone who can get the job done. Apparently, my own father can't even manage to end my miserable life, even though it's evident he loathes me. I feel my face heat to an all time high, that I am sure my blood is boiling that I could burn Margo right now if I touched her. "Not really. I mean..well...it was just one time."
She thought this over, but didn't look at me in disgust, or shame, but with concern. She walked into another room briefly and returned with something in her hand. It almost looked like a tampon, but once she approached me, I could see it was something I thought I would never need for at least another ten..maybe fifteen years from now.
"This is a pregnancy test, hon. I can't say for certain, but I would suggest you take this and check to rule it out. I will give you an excuse for the rest of the day, and you can take this home to do in private if you would like. The directions are inside the packaging." The level of care she took to hand over the stick like package while explaining what to do, made it seem like I was either going to break or combust if he handed it over.
She handed me a pass for the rest of the day and informed me she would let the rest of my teachers know I was out sick. I walked out of the office, dragging myself through the halls of school, passing my locker, and right out the front doors like a zombie. I don't even remember walking through the parking lot when I realized I was already half a block away from the school heading home.
I ended up stopping off at the diner instead and just hanging out until I had to get home so dad wouldn't get mad. I've been able to stay under the radar with him for the past several weeks. I decided to take the opportunity to take the pregnancy test while at the diner, since I didn't feel like doing it at home was the safest place. I carefully read over the directions so not to mess this up and give me a wrong reading.
Directions: Remove pee stick and place on clean surface. Before dipping stick in the urine, release a small amount of urine prior to obtain a clean sample. Angle the absorbent tip under the urine stream and hold for 10 seconds or until absorbent tip has received an adequate amount of urine. Place stick back on clean surface and wait 3-5 minutes for results.
Those four minutes I waited seemed like four hours. According to the instructions, I was hoping for one pink line only to show up. I had my fingers crossed so hard, I felt like I was going to break them. I leaned forward towards the clean surface to see if the test was ready. Instantly, I felt like vomiting again. In front of me, with the brightest pink in the color system, were two lines staring back at me.
Once again, I was numb with the knowledge that was rolling around in my mind. How did this happen? Jason wore a condom. Everyone says those aren't 100%. What do I do from here? I can't afford all those medical appointments for pregnant women. I wonder if I can go to one of those free women's clinic and have this removed. They have those, I think. I couldn't destroy a life. No one would know, but the guilt I probably have for the rest of my life...I would probably kill myself before doing that.
I was so caught up in my head that I hadn't even notice I walked into the house and my dad was standing in the kitchen looking around like he was looking for something. The screen door slammed shut behind me, catching dad's attention, and swirled around storming towards me. Before I could register anything, a quick sting made contact with the left side of my cheek and knocking me to the ground. My backpack went flying to the side causing all my stuff to tumble out near my dad's feet, along with my proof that I was now another statistical pregnant teen. My dad followed my stare and picked up the stick looking it over for a bit, before speaking up.
"What's this? My pure innocent daughter is actually a town whore!" A slow, revolting smile tugged at his mouth. "Well, I think punishments might be a bit more interesting."