Chapter Twenty One: Three years ...

                                    

                                          
Three years pass by and college is mostly finishing up. I am on track with a few extra lessons to start my coaching career soon. I have found a potential mentor with a coach at a high school near Mary and Erica, and the opportunity couldn't be more perfect. I can finish a few more subjects whilst learning on the job. My career path was set, just as I wanted it to be. 
College though, wow, what a time. Calliope and I had helped take our team to the finals the last year, winning on a high that the university hadn't seen in years. I would miss the cheering on centre court of a Friday night and the games we would play away. Calliope and I had had the most wonderful college experience together, and if she hadn't have been a loved friend already, she was now, she was like a sister to me. 
Calliope had a college romance with a guy called Luke, they had become pretty serious pretty soon, and now I was basically a third wheel in their relationship, coming along for the ride. I however, had not had a girlfriend, a few girls in my life perhaps, certainly one or two in my bed... but none held a torch to Allie, and even now, after so long, that torch burned brightly. Emma would still message me periodically, and we would talk, but it seemed she kept me at a distance just as I did with Allie... and with a new girlfriend, I respected that. I sometimes wondered if I would ever meet another girl who would claim my heart... was it even possible?! I didn't know, but I threw myself into my studies and my games. I just believed that if someone was meant to be, that they would find a way to me, into my life and come into my path. I honestly didn't have a lot of spare time for a romance, because between study and ball, I was a full time babysitter to Theodora Nomikos. Maria had begged Calliope and I to come and get Teddy on weekends, because she missed us so much, and of course we did, when we could, but Calliope was so into Luke and all of their extracurricular activities that it meant Teddy was now my little shadow. I took her to ball games, we went to movies, hiking, you name it, that kid had me wrapped around her little finger. Teddy was six, almost seven, but now much easier to hang out with, she still thought she was our age in her mind but she could at least hold a conversation now, make a joke and reach a basket. She was actually pretty good company, and Maria would joke, that she was my adopted little cub.
My mom had recently learnt to use the computer, and with this newfound technology and classes at church, she had finally found a way to make contact with me, where she could see me, and check on me from Utah. We had many painful conversations over that webcam, lots of tears and heart ache. Over time, we had worked through some of it, to the point we could now converse without tears, her apologies heard, perhaps not forgiven, but heard. I liked to see her, my mom, no matter how hard it had been that first time, she was my mom and she always would be. My father was slower to jump on with us, but I sensed a lot of the time that he was there, listening and watching me out of camera shot, too proud to admit he missed me, but evidently he did. I would never understand pride, it seemed to have a lot to answer for. Last week on a call Harper had been there with them, and oh my word, my heart took flight to see her little face appear upon my Moms lap. Harper is so like Allie, the red hair was just a delight to see, her eyes darker, not the icy blue, Bens eyes, but she is delightful, and seems content, even chatty for her age which blew my mind. Allie is apparently back working at her grandparents pharmacy, and is doing night classes to finish her college degree. I couldn't be prouder of her, I just wish I could tell her that in person.
***
"Willa why don't you have a boyfriend" Teddy asked, as we sat by a stream watching water trickle over rocks. 
I took a bite from one of the sandwiches I had packed for our hike, and looked back into the large brown eyes that looked at me intently as she chewed on an apple haphazardly, with a couple teeth missing at the front. "Do you know what gay means Ted" I ask.
She shakes her head, sending her ringlets flying about "nope" she returns. 
I suck in my bottom lip and consider my answer "well it means that I am not attracted to boys... I like girls... women... like me" I say. 
"Oh" she replies, frowning and looking back to the stream we had sat beside. 
It was a warm autumn day and probably one of our last hikes of the year, before the cool air set in. I had come to enjoy my hikes with Teddy, she enjoyed getting out of the restaurant and I enjoyed the fresh air and the company of someone who didn't ask the hard questions... just the interesting ones. Why is the sky blue? Why do bats only fly at night? Why is that rabbit on top of that other rabbit? Why don't you like boys? Easy questions. 
"Willa..." she asks again, and I brace myself. 
"Yes Ted" I reply, reaching into the bag for 
some water. 
"What if you just want a dog, and don't want a boyfriend or a girlfriend... because I think when I grow up I just want a dog" she says.
I smile and sip the water from the bottle, before placing it back in the bag. 
"That's just fine" I say, taking sunscreen out of my bag and applying it to her nose and cheeks.
She squirmed under my finger tips. "Willa" she squealed. 
"Hey listen, your momma will not be happy if I return you looking like a lobster... I had a friend once who got so burnt she looked like one, and it wasn't pretty Ted"
"Was it Allie" she asks.
I frown a little as I apply the last of the cream to her face. "Yes... why would you know that" I ask surprised.
"Because you talk about Allie a lot" she returns matter of factly. 
"Do I?" I ask a little thrown by that. I run sunscreen up my bare arms and wonder when I have mentioned Allie to Teddy. 
"I don't think I do...talk about Allie alot I mean" I say, almost childishly.
The actual child here, at six years old, rolls her eyes at me and places her hand on my arm like a best friend would do. She slowly widens her eyes and frowns at me, as if she is about to confess something I shouldn't want to hear "Oh Willa... it's every other sentence" she says to me.
She looks away and rummages around in my backpack for more treats, grabbing a granola bar and handing it to me to open. "I think you need to tell her you miss her or something" she adds casually. 
I take the bar from her and almost do a double take of her "you aren't old enough to open a granola bar yourself, and yet you are schooling me on my relationship" I say dumbfounded. 
"I think you need to spend more time with other first graders" I add, handing her the opened bar. "And less time with me and Callie"
This kid, my god...
"I like being with you guys" she says biting the bar and chewing. "Don't be mad, you know I'm right" she adds.
My nostrils flare and my eyes widen "Theodora Nomikos" I chastise, before accepting she was indeed right. "I didn't realise I was doing it... talking about her... I will put a lid on it..."
"I don't mind... I like Allie stories they are my favourite..." she says with a smile.
I realise then, how I must really talk about her a-lot, if Teddy is now attached to the stories. 
"Mine too" I add "Allie is my best friend in the entire world, and her stories will always be my favourite"
"I thought Callie was your best friend" she asks.
I stand and pull the backpack onto my back, and bend to tie my hiking boot laces. "Callie is my second best friend" I reveal.
Teddy smiles "I'm going to tell her you said that"
"She knows" I say jovially. "And you Ted are my number Three" I say pulling her up and placing her on my shoulders as she giggles.
Her little legs dangle down as I hold her ankles and we make our way along the track, another hour back to the car, our day at the forest hiking almost over. Teddy was singing and rapping songs that she shouldn't know the words too, making me howl with laughter as we go...Callie truly had a lot to answer for...