9.5 ~ cats and snakes

                                    

                                          
''Morning"
Icyhot comes up to me as I'm fixing lunch for school. He puts his hand on my shoulder and kisses my cheek.
"Morning...?"
I answer a bit confused and look at him, one of my eyebrows raised.
"See? Not as funny when someone does that to you, is it?"
He asks and I respond with an annoyed eye roll.
"Screw you too"
He says and pinches my arm.
"You're weird"
I state and hit his hand.
Icyhot scoffs and pours himself a glass of water.
"You know, your boyfriend deku isn't gonna be happy about you kissing another guy"
I say, obviously trying to provoke him. 
Into doing what though? I'm not sure of that myself. I usually provoke people into yelling at me or they get annoyed and leave me alone completely. But with Icyhot...I have no idea what the final result's supposed to look like.
"Guess I'll have to dump you then"
He leans on the counter next to me. He's wearing a smug smirk. Kind of like the one I'm always getting accused of wearing. I never thought I'd see him wear it, confidently like that, just a few weeks ago.
"I don't get dumped"
I say, shaking my head.
"You've been in enough relationships to be able to say that?"
"No. Duh. Relationships are just distractions"
"From what?"
"Becoming the best in literally anything"
I say. It's obvious. That was a ridiculous question. As if he doesn't know...
"Wouldn't anything include things you do with someone you're in a relationship with?"
He asks confused, genuine interest showing in his suddenly serious expression.
"Are you really coming onto me when I'm fixing your lunch?"
"What did you just say?"
"You're right. Not your fault that you're so madly in love with me"
I say, ignoring his (rhetorical) question.
"Well, sounds like a you-problem"
"Do you want carrots?"
I ask. I know I started it, but as mentioned earlier, I'm just trying to get a rise out of him, which he sadly doesn't respond to.
"What?"
"'Lunch"
"Why are you making lunch anyway?"
"Because it's healthy...?"
"Good point. Yes please on the carrots. No cucumber though"
He says and I snort, suppressing a laugh.
"...what?"
"Nothing."
"Tell me"
He whines
"Do you know those videos of people putting cucumber or pickles or eggplants next to cats and then they freak the fuck out?"
I ask, laughing a little.
"Are you comparing me to a cat?"
"Yup."
I say and squish his face.
So cute
"What do you- uhm"
I mutter, but let go of him.
"Nevermind. Let's get a move on"
"What were you going to ask?"
"Nothing. Let's gooo~ooo"
I yell, as I stuff out lunchboxes into my bag.
"You're acting weird"
He says, obediently following me.
"Said the king of weird"
I scoff
What I wanted to ask...
What do you feel when I kiss you? Because for me... I feel like all of me is controlled by those damned butterflies I get, whenever you're near me.
~
"These are actually pretty cute"
Icyhot says, looking down at his phone.
I bump my head against his, pushing it back to be able to see the screen of his phone.
"Oh. The cat videos?"
"Yeah. I like cats"
"Snakes are superior"
"Snakes? Isn't it supposed to be dogs?"
"No. Snakes are way cooler. Anyway, what do you like about cats so much?"
I ask and pull away, at this point not even noticing my face on his wallpaper anymore.
"They can be cuddly and trustful. You know, domesticated. But they haven't lost their natural instincts and can return back to nature anytime. The fact that most cats like to play so much only proves that they haven't lost their predatory nature. They're way more independent than dogs"
"...Snakes are cooler though"
"Whatever you say"
He sighs and I laugh.
It's sweet how passionate he is about these things.
I never noticed these kinds of thoughts before....I wonder how long they've been there for...
"Well, when you move out and get your own place, you'll be able to get as many cats as you want. Like every single fifty year old woman ever."
"Yeah...if."
"You don't think you'll be able to move out?"
I ask in a whisper.
"That's not it"
He mumbles.
"What do you mean?"
"It's nothing. Yeah. It'd be cool to have cats one day"
He whispers with a smile. 
A smile that was plastered onto a sad expression. His eyes look as if he's about to break out in tears and it's fucking with my head. My heart starts racing and I get way too fucking mad for something, that doesn't even have anything to do with me.
But what worries me even more is what he meant. 
He doesn't question the fact that he'll be able to move out of that godforsaken place some day. What he's putting into question, is whether or not he's still alive when that time comes around. What remains unknown is, if he thinks he will die by his father's hand....or his own.
"Don't fuck with me like that"
I kick his leg under the desk.
I want to hug him. I want to hold him tightly and kiss him. Tell him everything will be okay and that I will protect him, but... unfortunately, that's not something I can do in a room filled with our classmates, who it already took quite some time to think of us as normal friends. 
I don't want people talking about him behind his back.
"Let's talk about this later"
I say and lean back in my chair.
"I have to pack. And go back home. He comes back around 6"
''Oh right. Fuck"
***
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