04 | a dream

                                    

                                          

❛ ╯˚✧ . ˚ ⚘₊

I woke up with my heart pounding and a hand against my cheek. A dream...it was all a dream. I sighed in almost clear relief until I turned my head to see Ayato staring at me with concerned eyes,
"Are you okay, Y/n? You were whispering in your sleep..."
"O-oh! I always happen to end up being a little conscious inside of my dreams, it's like being half-awake and half-asleep at the same time, sorry you had to see me that way."
Ayato tensed then pulled away and dropped his arms, straightening his attire and fixing his expression at the ceiling, "You should return to your work."
He spoke as if nothing had happened. It made me feel a little bit hurt inside, but at the same time, I felt as if I could partially understand why he wanted to keep everything formal.
It would end up seeming like he was in a relationship with his maid and that could break out into a huge scandal no one wanted to get involved in.
I pulled a breath into my lungs and breathed out, "Yes sir."
I bowed and exited, roaming around upstairs while I started cleaning the floors.
I thought about Master Ayato all day.
Usually, my dreams meant something since I rarely ever had any, but when I did, they turned out to be warning signs for the future. 
Like the time a small creature bit the leg of one of the village kids and I had dreamed it would become infected and eventually kill the boy inevitably.
The next morning, the family was planning his funeral.
I wasn't sure why I'd had this one, but I'd also told other people about my dreams before and they'd concluded what they would do about it to avoid the outcome, but no matter what, fate always came.
People stopped considering it as a gift from the archons once I'd started spilling bad news, so I kept them to myself and only told them the good news.
I was praised until people began to blame every wrongdoing on me.
I became a source of blame.
That was another reason I'd moved to Inazuma. It was because, in my dreams, nothing could eventually become reality and it wouldn't hurt as much until I got close to someone which wasn't something I'd planned on doing.
It hurt to think about having to scandalize Master Ayato like that. As much as I'd tried not to think about it, it never stopped coming into my head at the worst moments.
I laid down on my shabby bed next to Thoma and sighed.
Runaway.
That was my last option if anything became any more closely than I'd intended. I didn't even like Master Ayato much yet but it was clear that eventually, I would develop a crush on him.
"Y/n, is something troubling you?"
I jumped and looked up to see Thoma above me.
"I-" I forgot the rest of my sentence instantly.
"It's alright if you don't have the security to tell me, I won't shove it out of you. But you can tell me anything whenever you want, I know..." He paused.
I knew what he was about to say. I know what it's like. But he didn't know what it was like.
If only he knew about my upbringing maybe he'd have a different perspective on me, but at the same time, I didn't want him to think the same way my parents did, or worse, think I was weak because I couldn't manage my own goals.