Chapter 4

                                    

                                          

A/N: As you have (hopefully) caught on by now, this story is going to be told in two different ways. The beginning of the chapters, italics, is the time leading up to Louis' death. The rest, normal print, is the present time. This way, it's like two stories in one and there will still be plenty of Larry moments! I hope that makes sense. 
Thanks for reading! X 
~
                          
Harry slowly opens his eyes, squinting in the darkness of the room. The sudden loss of body heat and the messy covers next to him signal that Louis has gotten out of bed. He gently rolls over on his side, still half asleep and glances at the clock on their bedside table. It's almost 3 in the morning.
After mumbling a few incomprehensible words, Harry once again closes his eyes figuring that Louis will return from the bathroom soon. 
                          
The couple decided not to go out and had a lazy evening around the flat instead. Harry cooked a nice meal and Louis picked out a movie to watch. He still felt guilty that Harry took the rest of the day off from work and it was starting to worry Harry how quiet Lou was. Nonetheless, he reassured the boy that he was 'fine' about twenty times... He wasn't. 
                          
Harry sleepily sits up in bed and wipes the sleep out of his eyes. A matter of minutes have passed and the space next to him is still empty. He starts to think Louis left to go for a drive, he does that sometimes. That is, until Harry hears the almost inaudible cries coming from the other side of the bathroom door. 
                          
"Louis." Harry breathes, his pulse quickening as he jumps out of bed and stumbles to the bathroom connected to their room. 
                          
"Louis, Are you okay? Open the door." Fear builds up inside of him as he tries to twist the locked door knob that won't open. Countless flashbacks race through his mind of the numerous times Louis has locked himself in there. 
                          
"Love, please open the door." Harry pleads, only getting muffled sobs in return. He continues to knock on the door, not knowing how else to snap Louis out of whatever has overcome him. This hasn't happened in a very long time. 
                          
"If you don't open the door, I'm coming in." He warns. Part of him can't help but imagine Louis sitting there with a blade in his hand, yet the other half knows Louis is stronger than that. Still not getting an answer, Harry shakily grabs the spare key he has placed on the doorframe for times like these. When he pushes the door open, his heart drops. 
                          
"Lou." He whispers, taking in the sight of the broken boy. Louis sat with his knees brought up to his chest, his face stained a deep red color from crying. Harry's eyes then wander to the lonely blade sitting next to him on floor. 
                          
"I-I'm sorry, I-I-" He cries, while rapidly trying to catch his breath at the same time. 
                          
"Shh." Harry silences him and instantly takes a place next to him on the floor, before sliding the blade away from them. He softly wraps his arms around Louis, engulfing him into a hug. 
"It's okay, love. Deep breaths." 
                          
They sit on the cold tiles for what seems like hours, but in reality has only been a matter of minutes. Harry can feel Louis' breathing evening out, but silent tears are still streaming down his cheeks. 
                          
"I'm sorry." Louis apologizes again. He breaks away from Harry's warm embrace and stares at his hands. 
                          
"Don't be sorry." Harry replies. He hesitantly stares at Louis' wrists covered by his sweatshirt and quietly asks, "You didn't do anything... Did you?" Louis shakes his head, no, and wipes his eyes. 
                          
"Promise?" Harry looks him in the eye, knowing he won't be able to meet his gaze if he's lying. 
                          
"I promise, Harry. I didn't do anything." Not this time, anyways. Louis tiredly answers while looking directly at him. He can tell that Harry still isn't fully convinced. With an eye-roll, he rolls up his sleeves and holds out his arms. 
                          
"See?" He deadpans and Harry slowly relaxes a bit. A faint smile spreads across Harry's lips as he traces his fingers along all of the old scars littering the boy's arms... None were new. 
                          
"I'm proud of you. I know this is hard." Louis' stomach twists as Harry softly kisses the top of his head. "But we'll get through this together." Yes, he stayed strong this time. But that's only because Harry barged in seconds before he could get his hands on that blade. 
                          
What Harry doesn't know is that Louis has fallen into a full blown relapse. He has been clean for the past two years and Harry thinks that is still the case. He's wrong. 
                          
Louis fell back into the habit around a month ago. It's more addicting than he ever remembered, but he truly doesn't care. He knows he deserves the pain and it's the one thing he has left in his life that he can control. The only thing he cares about at this point is keeping Harry happy. To do that, it means hiding his feelings. 
                          
It's only a matter of time before Harry finds out that Louis is self-harming again. Once he sees the variety of new wounds littering his legs, he'll know just how much his boyfriend is struggling. And then he'll realize that Louis' thoughts are destroying him more than those blades ever could. 
-

                          
"Hey," Niall catches Liam's attention right before he gets a chance to walk out of the door. They both have just finished up another long day at the diner and are the only two left to leave. Niall hasn't spoken to Liam in a few days. Ever since he came over the flat, he's been rushing out of work and hasn't said a word to anyone. "Do you have a minute?" 
                          
Liam turns around and nods. "Yeah, I guess so. What's up?" 
                          
"I just wanted to apologize for the other night. Things definitely got out of hand. Harry didn't mean to treat you like that." Niall replies while slipping on his jacket and picking up his car keys from behind the counter. 
                          
"Nah, it's fine. I shouldn't have said what I did." Liam states, "I did some heartless things back then. Harry has every right to be mad at me, he's just standing up for his friend." Niall stays silent for a moment, thinking. Then, something occurs to him.
                          
"You don't know what happened to Louis... Do you?" Liam furrows his brow, not understanding what Niall meant. He figured Louis and Harry stopped talking after high school and that was the end.
                          
"What do you mean?" He wonders aloud. Niall runs a hand through his short blonde hair, mentally debating whether he wants to talk about this with Liam or not. Trust isn't the issue, he feels he can trust Liam. Niall's worried about how he would take the news. Would guilt consume him to the point where he becomes just as bad as Harry? Then again, he is a strong guy and should be able to handle it... 
                          
"Uhm," Niall chooses his words carefully, "If you really want to know, I suggest you take a seat." He motions to one of the stools sitting in front of the counter. Liam studies Niall hesitantly in the seconds that follow. Part of the stressed-out boy regrets stopping him from walking out of the door. Why did he even bring it up? Nerves begin to bubble up inside of him, not knowing how he would tell Liam such a thing. Even though it's been a year, the heavy topic is still difficult for him to discuss. It always will be. As Liam took a seat at that counter, the sinking feeling in Niall's stomach grew heavier. This is it. 

                          
He's telling Liam.