Chapter 12

                                    

                                          
Your POV


Camila sat on the couch. I went to the kitchen to grab us both a bottle of water. I was nervous. This was it. I need to tell Camila the truth. I'm anxious. I went to the couch, giving the water bottle to Camila.

"Thanks"

She smiled. I gave her a peck and sat down next to her.

"So what is it that's been on your mind?"

I looked at her and then looked down at my hands, playing with my fingers. It's a habit of mine that when I'm nervous, I tend to do that. Camila seemed to notice that too, because she took my hand in hers and squeezed it. Lifting my head up with her other hand, she looked into my eyes.

"If you aren't ready to talk, you don't have to do it now."

I shook my head.

"No, I want to, but I'm searching for the right words."

"Take your time."

''Okay, well, thank you for being this patient with me; I really love you even more for that. But it's hard to say; I don't want to hurt you. We were nothing but honest with each other. We built our relationship on honesty, and I love that about us. That's why I want to tell you as soon as possible."

Making a pause to breathe

"Okay, I'm kind of scared, but I trust you."

Camila had a light nervousness in her voice.

"Well, like I said, I don't want to hurt you. But this is about Lauren."

I looked at Camila, and she nodded.

"I kind of expected it to be about her. What is it?"

"It's, well, I- I really don't know how to say this."

My voice was shaking.

"You aren't over her, are you?"

"Well. I don't know; I don't think so. It's wired. I thought I was."

I was looking down again. A tear started to escape my eye.

"I really thought that. When we had that conversation with her and she started crying, I had this uneasy feeling like I got when I saw you crying. I don't like it, and it hurts me too. It was the same with her. It hurt me to see her cry. I thought maybe that's just general since I don't like seeing people cry at all. But as she was speaking, I couldn't help but look at her, and I was lost in thought. My mind went to thinking about how beautiful she was looking. Her lips, eyes, and everything When I realised what I was thinking, I instantly felt guilt because of you. I love you so much. And I'm sorry for hurting you. But I knew that I was still into her the moment she laughed; my stomach filled with butterflies like it does every time I'm with you. Your smile, your laugh, and even just a little glance my way makes my stomatch flip. And that's something that isn't going to change. But I wanted you to know the truth. I wanted you to know how I feel because I know how it is to be on the other side. I'm really sorry."

I was now fully crying, thinking I had ruined everything between us.

"I'm so sorry, Camila."

I was sobbing. She was crying too. I heard her sniffling, but I couldn't look at her.

"Baby? Please look at me."

I wiped a few tears away and lifted my head. Looking into her eyes.

"It's okay. I'm not mad at you. A bit hurt, yes, but not mad. I love you, and I'm really happy that you are being honest with me. But I want you to think about something. Okay?"

I nodded hesitantly.

"Do you think these are real feelings, or do you think these are old feelings, like habits? You two were close for a long time; she was your girlfriend. Maybe you are feeling this out of habit; you two haven't seen each other in so long. Just think about that.''

"I don't know. I think maybe time will tell. I don't know it yet. Maybe you are right."

Camila nodded.

"You know, I was feeling the same for a split second. But I think for me this was, like I said, just feelings coming up from before, and because I was drunk, I think that even more."

She chuckled. 

"I love you, and I'm thankful for you being this understanding."

I leaned in and kissed her, and in this moment I knew that my feelings for Lauren weren't valid because the woman in front of me is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.

"Okay, let's pull ourselves together and watch a movie, shall we?"

"Yeah, HSM?"

I added, wiggling my brows, knowing she would say yes without hesitation.

"Absolutley!"

She stood up, getting the movie on. I held my arms open, she cuddeled into me, and we watched all three movies together that night. Breaking into every song, singing, dancing, and laughing. Forgetting about everything around us. Ordering pizza and having a perfect night together.

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