52 ~ [Left With Heartache]

                                    

                                          
LEERA POV
Stirring my black coffee, I small sipped onto it while sitting on the floor just beside the huge window in my living area.
6 in the morning and It looked calm and chill, just the way I always like.
I came back to California a few days ago.
And I still can't get out of everything that happened within such a short time in Newyork.
The next day when I woke up half naked in his bed at his house, I was glad I didn't see him while I was almost expecting him on bed with me cause it was early. But a confused part of me held so many questions seeking for answers.
After I woke up, I picked my clothes, wearing them I rushed out of his house the first chance I got. There were guards and some maids but they didn't utter a word to me to my dismay. As if they didn't care or they never saw me there but I was glad it was easy enough to escape.
I missed my flight back to California, so I had to stay another night in the hotel and give explanation to our hospital department, why I missed the flight, cause we were all supposed to departure together. My phone loaded with missed calls and messages and the day spent of me giving false excuses to my colleagues and everyone else, like my friend was extremely sick and I couldn't leave.
Then by the next flight I came back to California, settling into my busy life again. 3 days in New York felt so damn long with all those unanticipated incidents in my life that happened out of the blue.
Aria left, she told me how Levi felt for me and it made things between us complicated, then what Louis did in his birthday it was clear he was just about to propose me which I didn't let happen for some reason and again how Azezal trapped me and everything that happened there.
I closed my eyes and breathed through my mouth.
I kissed him back when he kissed me which was so insane of me and can be counted as one of the stupidest thing I have ever done. Probably because I wasn't in proper state of mind or because I actually.....
After 100 times of my refusal I'm still not able to convince my mind whatever happened. How much I missed his touch, how much I missed kissing those lips. In fact I would be lying if I said I didn't like it when we slept half naked on his bed, his warm breaths hitting my neck, his masculine, very familiar satisfying cologne filling my nose. I didn't want it to end. That time I wanted to stay caged with him forever there.
How his eyes scanned my body from head to toe, like he memorized each and every curve of my body in his head. Even though I wasn't entirely naked, I felt entirely naked in his eyes.
He touched me through my lacy thong that was unconditionally drenched wet and when he teased me with that surely my cheeks turned red out if embarrassed. I was soaked wet for him. For his touch that I'm never likely close to admitting.
How we applied the ointment in my bruises with so much gentleness as if he wasn't the reason behind them at first place. That side of him really existed or only he showed up one of his facade self again?
But again how sick was it to kidnap someone and act like a cheep creep like that? How his every words lashed hatred and detestation for me at first, how he forced me to strip while threatening to kill Aria. The thought only made me feel nauseous.
Again in the next moment how the devil in him changed into something so sweet and all lovely which didn't suit him at all but it only clarified one thing which is he's a serious bipolar absurd.
But the fun fact is after all these he disappeared in the thin air. I suppose he didn't came back to California, which was actually a plus point for me. But I still couldn't comprehend anything.