A.N: This is the final chapter thank you for keeping up with this story I know it was depressing.
__________________________________________________________________________________
Nanon's P.O.V:
I walked into P'Milk's office.
She was reading a book when I walked in.
"Oh...Ai Non...What brings you here? Is everything ok?" She asked.
I sat down in front of her and nodded.
"You know what I want to talk about" I said.
She put the book aside and looked at me.
"I'm listening" She said.
"I heard you talking to P'Jimmy...I thought about it for a while...But I still don't know what to say...What to do" I said.
"What do you mean?" She asked.
"Mon died trying to protect me...I'm to blame aren't I?" I asked.
She took my hand.
"He made his choice...You shouldn't feel guilty...You should use this chance to make him happy" She said.
Then patted my hand.
"From what you told me about your friend...He was a good person...Think of yourself ok? Give yourself time to forget and move on" She said.
I stood up and gave her a hug.
"Thank you" I said.
She started patting my back.
I pulled away and sat back down.
"Do you...Want to talk to me about him?" She asked.
I nodded.
"He wasn't a lazy student even though he was so damn smart...His parents always expected so much from him so...They did everything they could to make sure he doesn't go astray...I was his only friend...He was so close with Prim...She broke down in tears and refused to eat for days when he died...He was trapped...No matter what me and his sister did...He still hated his life...He hated everything but didn't want to show it...Do you know what it feels like to be controlled all your life to the point of wishing for death in order to escape?" I asked.
"I've seen that before...Many times" She said.
I chuckled and shook my head.
"You're a therapist after all" I said.
"How does that make you feel now? His death?" She asked.
"I'll be honest then...At first I felt empty...Alone and guilty and...For the past four years I couldn't think straight...I mean...Deep down I knew the truth all along I just didn't want to accept it...So I guess that's how he showed up in front of me again...Sometimes he feigned happiness like he always did and sometimes he disappeared on me for days which made me feel lonelier then before...Sometimes he tormented me just by being there...But now I know that it was only me and that's what hurts the most" I said.
Then sighed heavily and brushed my hair back.
"I really thought that it'll be ok if I kept going like that...That along with the flashes I had of the accident...Made me cling onto life...He died so I could live didn't he? So I shouldn't die that easily...Everything scared me...My mind played tricks on me and I started picturing the worse case scenario in every situation...Heights are terrible because I was scared of falling to death...Water and drowning...Sickness and illness so I turned to medical addiction to avoid getting sick...Pain reminded me of that night so I took everything I could get my hands on...I started thinking like him I tried to make his dream come true so I gave up on mine" I said.
