Council

                                    

                                          
Chapter 13:
The background noise from the television, coming from the series F.R.I.E.N.D.S, have kept the movie room free of my messy thinking along with the eerie feeling being in the dark, lost in your own thoughts and while distracted, you can't really tell what's lurking in the shadows. 
The pendant in my hand feels light, it's gem sparkling when light from the TV hits it in certain spots. Creating this beautiful rainbow light streak that I have been staring at for the past couple of hours. 
Cuddled up in the corner of the couch, afraid to face them. Afraid of the heavy burden of reality. Afraid of everything.
It seems so believable, so real. But how could you believe something that's supposed to be a myth- a fantasy world were humans could get lost to, reading and watching.
I scoffed. That's exactly how it feels right now. Lost. In a world full of mystery and bullshit no one prepared me for. 
They called me crazy, delusional, insane, witch, cursed, bad luck, and so much more just for the simple things that makes me different. Signs and clues that implies I'm not normal.
But what is normal?
Since I was young, I have been able to dream of things that could happen. Dreams of certain people dying. Been able to see different auras around people, navigate through places that I have no recollection of. 
And now, that finally there are people who can do crazier things compared to what I did, have showed up and acknowledged my so called abilities, why does it feel wrong? Why does it feel like a lie? 
I fiddled the pendant a few more times before stopping. There's no point in this. A sigh of frustration was released. 
Started staring at the wall, which got me thinking, if this is the world I now live in, then I have to do what it takes to survive. Even if it means completely being out of my comfort zone.
Always survive. I must. 
I must outlive the times where I am completely scared and helpless. 
I must be strong. Stronger than I have ever been before. Mind, body, and soul.
I have to do more. Be more! Become the person I need to be to survive in this never ending Hunger Games reality edition they call life.
Reassuring myself made me feel better. A new found determination blossomed in my chest and mind. Determination to better my life. Because if I won't, who will do it for me? 
Slowly, confidence coursed my nerves. 
I smiled triumphly. If I need Fel to tell me how to be this Lycan werewolf person they said I am, then I will be that. After all, there's nothing wrong with being different. 
Let them haters talk. Let them people talk. They despise you, because you are different. Because they don't know how to control you. And that's what I will be, untamable.
All this positive self-talk makes me feel good about myself. Isn't it that's what motivational speakers say, "it starts with you. With your mindset."
Though there's one question that needs an answer: where, how, and when do I start?
"Jesus Christ!" I muttered. Nope. There goes my confidence. 
I laid down instead. The pendant dangling in my hand.  Stared hard at it for a good few seconds.
"You know what, might as well put you on" talking to myself, I wore the necklace around my neck. I mean, logically speaking, where else should I place it onto?