"Is it because you want to take revenge on what Sam did to you? Or is it because you need to suck his dick to get your fucking cocaine?!", Cassie yelled hitting my weak spot. 
"That's enough, what the fuck is wrong with you? You're just mad that my life is more interesting than your fucking life. You snitch!", I spat trying not to let her see how deep her words actually cut.
"I agree you're just a snitch", Lexi said backing me up a little. 
"Ugh you two are just-", Lexi yelled storming off into her bathroom. 
"Did you actually fuck Fez?", Lexi asked as soon as Cassie left the room. "No I didn't I mean we kissed and stuff but nothing more than that", I explained calming down from our fight. 
"I get it what she said tho, every time you two talk or are in the same room you can literally feel the connection you two have", Lexi explained. 
"I don't know Lex. He is a good guy and he deserves someone that's 100 percent with him, I could never be 100 percent with him because of Nate", I told her. "I know Mi, I know", Lex said laying her head on my shoulder. 
-
After our fight, Cassie and I hadn't really talked much. I mean we didn't argue but we just didn't talk, I think we both knew we said some pretty mean things to each other but neither of us was ready to apologize. 
On Friday night I called Nate
"Hey, Babe what are you doing?"
"I'm getting ready, we're going out to eat with the football team"
"Oh okay, I'm so bored, I wanted to ask if you wanted to do something because Maddy asked me if I wanted to go bowling with her Jules, Kat, and Ethan"
"Go Baby, I'm probably gonna be home pretty late maybe we can hang out tomorrow?"
"Yeah I guess so"
"Okay, Babe I have to hang up. I love you"
"I love you too"
I sighed and texted Maddy that I was totally in on going to go bowling. 
I put on some light-washed boyfriend jeans along with a white crop top and a white dress shirt on top. After getting ready I stopped by my cousins' room. 
"Any of you wanna come Bowling with the girls and I?", I asked peeking my head inside their room. 
"I can't I have plans", Cassie explained and finished getting ready. "I can't either, I wanted to dedicate my entire night to writing the script", Lexi smiled. 
"Okay have fun you two", I smiled before heading downstairs and saying goodbye to Suze. 
"Hey bitch", Maddy smiled as I got in her car. 
We drove over to the bowling place which was only five minutes away from our house and got out. The other three were actually inside. 
We got our shoes and walked up to them greeting everyone personally. After we had ordered something to drink the game began. 
I was pretty shitty this time but it was fine for me. We took a lot of pictures together, one I actually posted on my Instagram. 
Ethan and Kat had the last few rounds and were acting all cute together. I had told Jules and Maddy about mine and Cassie's argument already before we all watched the couple be happy. 
"I swear they are so cute", Maddy said. "I know right? But you know what's depressing? That I will never experience that kind of love", I muttered sadly. "Why?".
"Oh, I know what you mean. There is just no darkness it's just sweet. I don't even know if that would ever be enough for me", Maddy said in the same tone as I did. 
"Okay you guys ready to go?", Kat asked all happily. 
"Yeah sure". 
We all paid and went into the parking lot, "Give us ten minutes", Kat giggled leaving with Ethan. 
"I don't even want to know what they're doing", Jules laughed. "Me either", Maddy and I agreed. 
The three of us sat in silence enjoying each other's company. "I feel like Nate's getting into his old behavior again", I admitted, I hadn't talked about that thought with anyone yet but I needed to get it off my chest. I was actually scared. 
"Really?", Maddy asked, she knew exactly what I was talking about. 
"Yeah, he's so angry with me and I feel like he's going away from me. But I can't leave him, I love him so much and I feel like he is the person for me and that I will never find someone that cares for me as much", I explained to the two girls. 
Jules wrapped an arm around me and so did Maddy. "I wish you could see yourself the rest of the world does", Jules said placing a soft kiss on my head. 
****
I actually loved that last scene