"Yeah, that's- that's really weird. If you'll excuse me." I say and speed away from the table, heading towards the restrooms.
After entering, I close the door behind me, walk up to the sink and grab the cold pottery, letting my head hang down while I try to calm my breathing.
Fucking anxiety.
I turn on the faucet and let the cold water run over my sweaty hands, bringing them to my face after my hands cooled down. Over and over again, till I feel my panic attack get weaker. This always helped me the fastest, I think feeling the water cool me down distracts me from my thoughts. Sounds stupid, but works.
I look towards the door as it gets opened and see Scott walk in with a concerned look on his face.
"You okay?" he asks carefully, knowing damn well how hard these attacks can get. But it's fortunately a smaller one, otherwise the water wouldn't have helped.
"Yeah, fuck she must believe I'm peculiar." I say and brush through my hair with my cold fingers.
It was stupid. I should have simply just made something up, I'm an actor for god's sake. But I was never good at lying. It's easier when you have lines that you're supposed to say and the context of filming, it's great. But when it's actually real life lying I have every tell you can possibly have. I get pad, I sweat, my eyes gaze, I'm touching my face and sometimes, when I really don't know what to say, I have a panik attack.
Like the one I had a few seconds ago.
"She doesn't think that, Chris. She's just a bit confused I guess. You can simply fix that." he says and I just look at him questionably. "Tell her."
"Scott." I frown.
"What? It would explain why Ben asked for her name." he says while shrugging his shoulders.
"I should have picked her up, why did he even ask for her name? He should have just lead her to our table after she asked for us, not interrogate her. Man, what did he think?"
"He was just careful, and you know that."
"I'm just, I don't know, angry at myself I guess."
"May I ask why you're so afraid of just telling her who you are? I mean it's not like your an axe murderer, or ex junkie. Your just, famous."
"Scott, I've never met someone like her before. When we're together, I feel like I'm someone I've always wanted to be. I'm just some normal guy who meets a girl at a beach bar. For the first time in my life there are just two people getting to know each other, without all the drama and all the rumours. This is what I've always searched for. In some brief moments I found it in acting but now it's real life. This is what I've longed for all this time. I was unhappy for ages and for the first time in years, I am happy again, I am living. And I am so scared that the truth might ruin it. Or worse, scare her away. I can't loose her, Scott. I know I only met her yesterday but I can feel that this is different. This is rare. This is real."
YOU ARE READING
Craving
Fanfiction"When I feel that pretty pussy of yours clenching, I don't want it around my fingers." ⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹ Alison Collins is a young woman who came to San Diego to party. But fate has other plans with her as it lets h...