This is a personal documentation through poetry.
I am learning to look inward now, give myself love when I least want to. I do not live to love others, I live to love myself. I will find and create what is enough for me, and you will learn to let it...
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Sometimes I hear the things you think no one picks up on. The comments, the put downs, the self hatred littered jokes. But you haven't a mean bone in your body, Your only target is the girl guiding your movements, your choices, your words. I hear it all, and it stays in my head like honey, Sweet and thick, hard to get rid of, Can't quite get it all off my hands. Sometimes I wake up afraid, That I didn't talk to you enough the day before, I said something a little too harsh, I didn't apologize for something years ago, I ignored you because I wasn't in the mood, That I did something I'd regret the day after, If you weren't there. Sometimes I really do wake up afraid. And it's a feeling that's hard to put into words, And even harder to make it sound pretty. Because it's the ugliest thing in the world That a human can take themselves away from life at any given time. I would never ask you to stay for me, Or for the boys, Or even mom and dad. Because I promise this life is yours and no one else's. The day is more beautiful when you wake up. The nights are calmer when you sleep peacefully. The breeze is more comforting when it blows through you. The sun is gentler when it shines over you. The rain is more soothing when it pours on you. And the people are happier when they see you. The universe is happier with you in it. Even if it's just a little bit. That little bit is everything to me. Because you are everything to me.
