Chapter 15: First half

                                    

                                          
" My grandfather died..." No, she wasn't naked this time. He was much more interested in knowing the future of her story than to do anything. So, he planned to pull an all-nighter with her and began playing his fingers over his laptop, moving them as beautifully as playing a piano in her eyes. 
" And everything went on a loop after that. I had my 12th boards coming up and no, I didn't take science," 
" So you took commerce?" 
" I took arts," she pouted and pulled a big, comfortable pillow and placed it over her lap as she kept pouting as she played with her hair and looked away in an attempt to ignore his strong stare. He was in disbelief over what he just heard come out of her mouth. 
" Didn't you say that you were a doctor's daughter? What you got less in 10th or something?" 
" I was never good in studies. And it wasn't even priority. But in 10th, papa made me study like a donkey. So, no. I got good marks in 10th. I got 93.8% BTW..." she raised both her eyebrows at him and he raised an eyebrow back at her 
" Then why the fuck did you not take science? You could have been-" 
" A big doctor? Helped my dad in his company or something? What? Have you never heard of anything called passion or maybe, even liking? Haven't you ever wanted to do something in life?" She squinted her eyes at him and he raised his eyebrows as he looked away. 
Passion? He hadn't only heard of it. There was a time in his life that he had fought to pursue a career in something that he had a passion for. But the blackmail of his family and the pressure put over him by even his friends had ended up changing the course of his life completely. 
Besides, what was he even doing there, sitting and typing over his laptop? Stories, right? He was still trying to somehow live with his passion... Still, somehow, he wanted to cope with the deepest desire in his heart. 
" Yeah. Fine, continue," 
" So... My grandfather died... And it was like... Right before the 12th boards. And you know the Covid Era?" 
" Yeah," 
" It started with my last paper of 10th. So, 11th, 12th, I had just sit in the house and... I had done no studies. And then, suddenly these people wanted to conduct boards. I tried chickening out. I mean, who even took the online school seriously? I hadn't opened my books even once and my grandfather had also just died... So, I asked my parents, kindly, and innocently if I could take a gap year. Because I knew very well that I could no way in hell pass that exam at all," she blinked her eyes and sighed 
" And?" 
" And what? "Po-"" she bit her inner cheek when she said that and looked away, making him look at her in shock. Was she... Was she hiding something? That guilty look over her face definitely told him that she was... What though? The eyes that she was fluttering constantly weren't ready to answer or even help him get close to the answer. 
" "Pari. You are such a smart kid! I know that we can do this, baccha! Just, need to take a little time for studies and I'm a hundred percent sure that you will pass!" I would roll my eyes internally whenever my father said that to me. Not because I didn't respect the fact that he wanted to help me. I just knew that I wouldn't pass that year, no matter how hard I tried. Besides, there were more factors affecting my mind at that point," 
" Like what?" 
" A divorce. In the start of the Covid, my dad came on the conclusion that my mother and him were not compatible enough to survive together. So, he... He left us. Left me with my angry mother and started living with his parents. And I? I had to suffer then. Every time he even called us... I had to suffer because my mom was bitter by that point. Very, very bitter... He tried taking me with him and I even went to stay with him for about 6 months... And then, I don't know. I started missing it every time she shouted at me. Like, a habit... I just... I ran away. Not practically. But I shifted back in with my mom and sisters..." 
" Wait. So, your parents... They're...?" 
" Probably divorced by now. I hope. I mean, I always knew that they both wanted different things from life and from each other. The compatibility and even adjustment of both of them was zero. Both had big egos and... Just that more than talking, they fought per day. I mean, I have seen a knife being pointed at me once. When my mom was angry... And that added to all the things already happening in my life, I had no chance of passing my 12th. Whether I stayed with my mom or my dad... I just couldn't concentrate on my studies. How could I? Especially when on the first day of my exam, my parents' court date was scheduled at... I couldn't," 
" So... You failed?" She took in a deep breath as she looked down at the bed. Not with tears in her eyes but she surely was distressed. Maybe was thinking about all the mistakes that she made in her life before she ran away. Maybe, was thinking of a different kind of future for herself... She didn't know exactly. But, when she continued, the frown over his face definitely came off. 
" I don't know," 
" What do you mean?" 
" I had 5000 in my pockets. Headphones in my ears... My phone in one of my hands and my adhaar card in my other hand. Was sitting in the car, alone while my parents went to get the report card from inside just because... My anxiety wouldn't let me go... Had just turned 18, like, a few weeks ago and a wild thought crossed my mind... Instead of going home and getting beaten up and then, probably thrown out of the house, I thought that leaving myself would be a better option. I just, wanted to get away from all of it. My grandmother, who always talked bad about my mother. My mother who still hit and shouted at me. My sisters who were nowhere near me, my father who, just, practically left my life ever since he decided to get divorced. My friends whom I didn't have the courage to even get back with and just, get out. I didn't like the life that I was living... And someone once told me. Change comes with you. So... I changed," 
" You ran away? Are you an idiot??!" 
" Yes! I'm an idiot!" She raised her head and looked at him with a tearful face. The amusing thing though was that she didn't have even an ounce of regret in her eyes, a all, " I'm stupid and an idiot because I didn't do it earlier because you know what?! I'm thriving out here, on my own and I don't fucking as hell want to go back to being that girl, caged with expectations from anyone! I don't ever want to go back. Not to if I had no other choice!" By that point, he was just staring back at her. In disbelief but somewhere, as she looked at him bravely, he knew that a part of him could understand and connect with her on a deeper level... 
Somewhere, his conscience told him that she was telling the truth.