the door that stayed closed

                                    

                                          
*AUTHOR'S NOTE; trigger warning for this chapter, reader self harms again, and contemplates suicide. there is also a slight bit of sexual assault (reader gets kissed without consent) & i don't wanna hear "oh well that's not that big of a deal" stfu it may be to some people. please be careful reading this chapter if this triggers you, remember to take care of yourself. on a lighter note, this ff hit 200k reads!!! that's so crazy, tysm for all the support, don't forget to keep voting for the chapters! anyways, enjoy brats!*
"Love makes you blind to your own survival. And if it doesn't, then it's not love at all." - Walter Mosley. 
You knew it was reckless to come to Marley to try to see Eren without a concrete plan. But then again, love is blind. You can't get that specific quote out of your mind as you watch Eren look at you, he jaw clenched.
"I told you I was." he dryly states.
The look in his eyes waver for a moment, almost like he's truly hurt by you calling him a monster, but you don't care. You told him Hitch didn't know what was going on, but he killed her anyways. He shot and killed her... for no reason.
Suddenly, a loud alarm starts to got off, and you hear a voice speak through speakers you didn't notice in the room before.
"Prisoner three thousand and fifty three is out of his cell and has escaped. All soldiers please report to the third floor. Detain him, and keep him alive."
Eren makes a loud sigh.
"Shit." he says under his breath. 
"Well, looks like you three are in luck. I've got to g-" 
"YOU FUCKING MONSTER!" you scream, impulsively getting off of the ground and wielding your sword from your sheath. You sprint to Eren, pushing him against the wall behind him and holding the sword against his throat. 
"I TOLD YOU SHE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS!" you shout. Eren's body slips a bit on the wall. He tries to stand back up to keep his composure, but it's almost like he's too weak to. You know this can't be right, though. Since titan shifters have the ability to heal themselves quickly. He's just faking it.
"GIVE ME A REASON TO NOT KILL YOU RIGHT NOW!"
"Y/N! WE SHOULD GET THE ABSOLUTE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" Jean yells from behind you, but you don't pay attention.
"GO, THEN! I'LL CATCH UP!"
"WHAT? Y/N, WE-"
"I SAID GO! GO RIGHT FUCKING NOW!"
Eren doesn't even try stopping Pieck and Jean as you hear them get up off of the floor, using their ODM gear to escape from a nearby window.
"We'll wait for you, y/n." Pieck says.
"You have ten minutes or we're coming back for you."
"Understood." you say back. You hear the ODM gear make its shwing sound.
"Now that they're gone, tell me what's happening." you say.
Eren furrows his brow.
"I already told you. I-"
"You're a fucking liar." you spit, cutting Eren off. Eren grabs your wrists, attempting to push you off of him, but he doesn't. Instead, his eyes widen as he looks down at your bandaged wrists, then looks at his own. You glance at his too, noticing that his wrists have stopped bleeding.
"Tell me the truth." you say.
"Why do you think I'm lying? What evidence points to your thought process, y/n? Hmm? I just shot and killed your friend, and you still think I'm lying."
"Yes."
"Why?"
"BECAUSE! Because... I don't know. I just have a feeling that you're fucking lying. So tell me. Or I'll kill you." you reply.
Eren's eyes look up to the ceiling.
"There's cameras everywhere, you know." he says.
"They'll see and hear all of this. If you kill me, they'll kill you."
"It's not like I have a whole lot to fuckin live for, Eren." you spit back.
"So I'm not too worried about dying."
"Get out, y/n." Eren says to you. Eren gathers up all of his strength and manages to push him away from you. He hunches over right afterwards, trying to catch his breath as if it was so much work to push you off of him.