A Thousand Times Goodnight

                                    

                                          
Zhongli had to decide how to make the mortal who had captured his heart understand that this was no longer something he had the luxury of ignoring.
If Childe wanted him to be his lightskirt, so be it. But he'd meant what he said about this being the last time. He didn't know if he could stomach the thought of him taking someone else to bed or having to share him with someone else, but even he had so much pride he was willing to give up. So, he decided to take his time and commit every touch and sigh to memory. Childe was stiff-necked in the chair, his face flushed and his expression furious. "What the fuck was all that talk for if you weren't going to do any-"
"Close your eyes please," Zhongli instructed softly. Childe reluctantly did so, his face still displeased. Zhongli studied the freckles that dusted his nose, the soft pink lips that had kissed him stupid one too many times, and the tensed shoulders that were now starting to relax. "Zhongli?" Childe whispered. "Did you leave?" Zhongli stayed silent, his heart breaking at the way Childe's voice was full of longing. He gently pressed his lips to Childe's, arms braced against the dinner table and the chair. As he pulled away, he undid his tie and held it up. "May I?" Childe nodded, eyes closing once again as Zhongli made a blindfold. "I find that the human body is most honest when made vulnerable. Just as taking away one of your senses heightens the others," he adored the shiver Childe made as he grazed his lips over his collarbone, "taking away conditions you are used to can make you reevaluate things." Childe groaned as Zhongli helped him to his feet. "So, this is nothing more than a power play? I doubt it will work as you intend." Zhongli shook his head as he guided Childe to the bedroom. "Call it whatever you want. But understand this," he gingerly laid him on the bed. "I do have feelings for you."
He ignored Childe's protests as he knelt on the bed, untying the blindfold. "I am not so naïve as to call it love. We have only known each other for but a moment." Zhongli took Childe's hands into his, neither looking away. "I want you to face me and tell me you don't feel anything for me. If you can do that, I'll simply let you use me as you planned and take my leave. But if you hesitate, if you can't do it...then you'll know you've been lying to me and yourself this entire time." Childe turned his face away, exhaling. Zhongli laughed coldly. "You can't do it can you?" He slammed his hand against the wall, leaning over a now startled Childe. "What are you running from," he asked. Childe still said nothing, his eyes settling into that familiar sneer. The same sneer that had roped Zhongli in from the very first day. "I don't run from anything. Just because you decided to play lapdog and chase me doesn't mean I'm responsible-"
Zhongli didn't even blink before he slapped Childe, the latter's eyes widening as both men breathed heavily. Zhongli's mouth hung open. "I didn't mean to. I apologize."
Childe roughly grabbed him by his collar, hardly giving Zhongli time to process the mistake he just made. Zhongli knew he was in for it when he noted Childe's brightened eyes and the way all his teeth showed as he smiled. "Don't apologize," he murmured. "Just...move." He shimmied out of his pants, pleased at the way Zhongli hungrily watched his every movement.
And move Zhongli did.
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Childe was loathe to let Zhongli dictate the way their hookup would go, especially with that bullshit ultimatum he'd given him. He dug his nails into Zhongli's back, their mouths crashing against each other as the headboard groaned behind him. It was like every argument leading up to this was playing out with their bodies. Zhongli let out a ragged breath as Childe yanked his hair, forcing him to pause. "Just so you know," he crooned, languidly sitting up to meet Zhongli at eye level, "You don't own me." He placed a finger over Zhongli's lips before he could counter. "No one does. Lots have tried, many have failed. You need to know when you're in over your head." Zhongli choked as Childe's hand drifted dangerously south, his sure fingers forcing a hard swallow out of him. "Allow me to show you why I'm never refused." Zhongli gripped his wrist to stop and force him back to the mattress, greedily kissing him on the way down. When he broke for air, he shook his head. "You're going first. I don't care what you had planned."
Had Childe been asked to state his full name when Zhongli lowered his face to his ass, he would have certainly failed.
"F-fuck," Childe breathed, his head growing dizzier as Zhongli tasted him. "Y-you don't have to- oh gods." He was going to combust if he kept this up. "You are absolutely delicious," Zhongli purred, licking his lips before he went back down on him. His entire body felt unbearably hot, the contrasting coolness of the room only making things worse. Zhongli didn't even slow his pace, kissing him firmly as he hurriedly yanked off his pants. Childe's mouth watered when he saw his dick, remembering exactly the way it had easily slid into his throat when Childe took him against the wall. His entire body felt like it was being licked with the way Zhongli stared at him. "I'd advise you to hold on to something," he said, low and slow.
Childe almost sobbed when Zhongli shoved himself inside of him, calloused hands yanking his hips down so he hit just the right spot every damned time. "Right there, p-p-please," he managed to say with a strangled voice. Zhongli paused for a second, and Childe was about to rip his hair out from the lack of patience, but the archon just smirked and went harder, the bed creaking with every thrust. When he lifted Childe's knee and slung it over his shoulder, making the angle that much deeper, Childe could do nothing but let his eyes shut and inwardly recite every prayer he knew. He was losing his gods damned mind, and he had to ask himself why just being like this was such a problem. Giving each other pleasure, the ease that Zhongli's name fell from his lips in an almost reverent plea...that he could handle. Having "dates", the wanting, the hopeful gazes...not so much. Was he really going to have to give this up just because he didn't want to court him?
Childe's body went limp as he found his release, clenching around Zhongli with the finish. He distantly heard Zhongli grunting as he soon followed, fucking into him one last time before he came. They both lay there for a moment panting, the darkness of the room falling over them like a heavy blanket. Eventually, Zhongli turned Childe's head to him, running a thumb over his bottom lip. "Do you have an answer for me now?" Childe's mouth closed around his finger, sucking it hard enough that he knew Zhongli almost forgot what he'd asked him. He moaned as Zhongli pulled it out with a pop. "You," Childe arched his back when Zhongli kissed him, his tongue lightly running over the roof of his mouth before they parted, "are trying to distract me. And I must admit, any other time it would have worked. But I need an answer from you."
So, there would be no running from this, then. Childe set his jaw and took a deep breath.
"I don't want to lead you on. You don't deserve that. You also deserve a lot better than me. Find someone else who can be that for you." He heard nothing for a while and dared to look up. Zhongli was smiling wistfully, and Childe almost wanted to take back what he said as he watched him get up and dutifully put his clothes on. That feeling only increased when Zhongli pressed his lips to his brow, lingering before he stepped back. "You are that somebody for me, Childe. But you're right. All I've been doing is playing lapdog. I can't make you feel something you don't." Childe held his tongue as Zhongli opened the bedroom door.
"I'll send a lantern eastward to the stars who witnessed your birth, Ajax," he promised quietly. "I can still wish you a happy New Year."
And as he heard the footsteps he'd come to grow used to walk out of his front door, Childe let the memory of a star-covered Liyue and a grinning ex archon fade away to nothing in the now silent house. I will wish you a happy New Year too, Zhongli. Gods knows one of us deserves one.