Chapter 13

                                    

                                          

Emma 
 The diamond, the size of rock adorned my finger. A brutal reminder of what I had lost. I sighed and looked out of the window of my room in Azmaayir. It had been a week since I had flown back from the US with Abi on the night I got married to Dawood. Reem was due to arrive a couple of days before my wedding. Preparations had already started, invitations had been sent around the world for the ceremony. Two of the most influential families in the world were united in a bond with this marriage. 
 Three weeks remain, just three weeks for my wedding, then I will be at the mercy of Dawood Ordimez. I didn't expect any kindness from him, the way he had sat at the time of our Nikah with a hardened face and his golden eyes engulfed in coldness had made a shiver of dread run down my spine.
The warning in his tone when he had confronted me in the corridor and the promise of pain in each of his words was enough to make me shudder. 
 I was not weak, I have always stood up for what I felt was right but something about Dawood at that moment made me feel that I was doomed. He would do everything in his power to make my life miserable but I won't be my father's daughter if I made it easy for him. 
A knock sounded on the door and Ahmed entered, he had flown to Azmaayir last night. He had been calling me madly since those pictures went viral but I had avoided speaking to him. How couldn't I? The humiliation that I felt imagining what my family might have felt after watching those pictures was not letting me talk to him. 
 "How are you?" He asked in a polite voice. 
 "Alive, breathing, if that's what you are asking," I replied, avoiding looking into his eyes. 
 "You didn't answer my calls," his voice held a complaint. 
 "I am a coward," my voice was filled with tears even though I tried controlling them. 
 Ahmed came and stood beside me near the window, looking out on the gardens of the palace. 
"You should tell Abi that you don't love him," he said. 
"Will that change anything, Ahmed, it's too late for that, I am married to Dawood. My wedding is scheduled, three weeks from today," I wrapped my arms around me, trying not to break down. 
 Ahmed was standing silent but I could feel his watchful gaze on me. I wanted to scream at him, to tell him to leave me alone. Treat me like other members of our family were treating me like I was a disgrace. I had pushed my other siblings away from me when they had tried to console me after I returned. Mohammed had tried to talk to me to ask me what had happened in the US if those pictures and videos were true and I had ignored his questions and had asked him to leave me alone because I didn't want anyone's sympathy. 
Ahmed, I knew he would never leave me alone, he would fight me until I had not opened my heart to him. We have been like this since childhood. It was me who used to fight him at first because he wouldn't open up to me but gradually Ahmed had adopted this trait from me and I knew very well he won't leave my room unless I tell him everything. 
 "I met Dawood at a party during my 1L's," I halted, recollecting that fateful day, exhaling sharply. "I don't know what it is about him that pulled me to him like a moth to a flame. I don't know how but I ended up making out with him at that party. I knew ..okay, I knew he was wrong for me and I kept my distance from him," I couldn't understand how to tell Ahmed about that incident without getting embarrassed. 
  "The second time we met I felt the same pull towards him and before I could stop myself, I shared an experience with him in the library.  The next time we met after one and half years at a dance club, Hamza saw me dancing with him and heard our conversation. 
 Hamza left from there saying we needed a break and I needed to decide what I wanted. I tried to get in touch with Hamza for the whole next month but he kept ignoring me. I was furious with Dawood for creating a rift between Hamza and me. 
 Then Abi came to the US and Dawood's father asked for my hand in marriage for Dawood. I couldn't tell him the truth as things were messed up with Hamza and I needed to talk to him before I talked to Abi.  He was too excited about Dawood's proposal and I couldn't decline him so I agreed to think about it. 
The next day I approached Dawood to decline the proposal and he refused, saying, I should tell that to Abi, myself. One moment we were talking and the next that incident happened and here I am married to Dawood Ordimez," I told him everything, I needed to get this burden off my chest and I knew no one other than Ahmed would understand me. 
"Abi had no right to marry you with someone without your consent. How could you agree to it, Emma?" 
"What choice was left for me? Refuse the marriage and disgrace Abi more? Let the world take a dig at him for the mistake I did? I had to sign those papers and accept my marriage to Dawood. I made a mistake, I was in the wrong and I need to own up to my mistake. I did bow Abi's head in shame, I deserve what is happening to me," I swallowed the lump in my throat. 
"What the fuck is wrong with you? You are an adult Emma, and you have every right to choose how you want to live your life. You have every right to kiss some guy or sleep with him if you want to. No one other than God has the right to judge you for it," he exploded. 
I looked at Ahmed astonished, I had not expected something like this from him. I had thought he would be disappointed with me, instead, he was telling me that I had done nothing wrong.
"Ahmed, you don't realize. Being a Princess, I can't take such liberties. Things are expected from me, our people look up to us as their role models, and they are hurt if we don't value our culture," I tried to calm him. 
"Whatever, Em, this is wrong. You shouldn't have been pushed into a marriage you didn't want. You are human and you are destined to err. I don't want you to live a loveless married life. I want to see you happy, married to a man you love," he looked disturbed.  
Ahmed was the most sensitive when it came to all of us siblings. He would do anything to make sure none of us was ever hurt or unhappy.
"I have to accept this marriage, Ahmed. There is no way out of this unless I hurt Abi which I don't want to do ever again," I placed my hand over his and wrapped my fingers around it. 
"Em, I can't see you broken like this," he said with a voice full of emotions. 
"It's okay, Ahmed, I will heal," I tried to assure myself more than I was trying to assure him. 
"I am sorry, I couldn't do anything for you," Ahmed wrapped his arms around me and engulfed me in a bear hug. 
"I am sorry too, for hurting and humiliating you," I mustered the courage to apologize to him. 
Ahmed pulled from me and looked into my eyes, "Em, you don't need to apologize for anything. Trust me, I don't have any ill feelings towards you," he asserted. 
"Thanks, Maddy," my eyes moistened and I buried my face in his chest. 
Ahmed let me cry for a long time until my sobs had subsided and then he called all our siblings into my room. They were happy to see me, talking with them again. I had never thought that my life would ever take such a turn that I won't be able to look my siblings in their eyes. 
Though they all were still behaving with me the same way as before. Nothing had changed in their behavior, it was me who had distanced myself from them
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