Chapter 47

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Amra quietly sang to herself until she couldn't take it anymore

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Amra quietly sang to herself until she couldn't take it anymore. She picked up the stick and looked at it. Even though she knew the answer, she still felt nervous. Her heart was racing.

She looked at the panel, watching it fill, until finally, one pink line appeared. 

"Ha! Not pregnant." She threw it away without a second thought and headed towards her room.

Whatever, she jumped into her bed. She already knew the outcome of what that test would be. She hadn't had sex, so it was obvious to her...and yet, there was an odd ache in her chest. Something that made her feel a tinge of sadness.

Once more, she felt an emptiness.

The nausea she had felt this morning had settled and she hoped this was the start of her recovery.

Amra turned on the television just as her door slammed open and Lily bounced inside, "I knew it! I knew it!" she jumped on her bed, wrapping her arms around Amra. "I'm gonna be the best aunt ever! Oh, I can't wait to throw you a baby shower! OMG, mom's gonna be so happy, Peter's gonna—"

     "Woah, stop!" Amra pulled herself away from Lily's death embrace. "What the hell are you talking about? I told you I'm not pregnant."

     "But the stick said—"

     "It was negative, Lil—wait," Amra turned her attention back to Lily, her eyes were wide and cartoonish, "Did you look at my pregnancy test?"

     "Calm down, I didn't dig through the trash for it," she rolled her eyes. "You literally have the worst aim. It was just lying there on the ground, so I had to pick it up anyway."

Amra's lips tugged upward into a smug smile. "You're right, I do have bad aim, which means you probably got my pee all over your hands." She laughed at the look of horror on Lily's face. "Now quit bothering me! I'm not pregnant and I want to rela—"

     "Then explain this..." Lily shifted to the side, raising her left hand and opened her palm revealing Amra's pregnancy test. "I thought you might want to keep it."

Amra looked at the stick in Lily's hand. Her heartbeat pounded, her soul felt as if it had been ripped from her body and she was experiencing everything from somewhere up above.

The test that had once had one little pink line, now had two.

     "I-I'm..." pregnant, Amra couldn't move. This has to be a mistake.

Amra was certain nothing had happened with Peter. "Agh," She clenched her eyes as she tried to recall if she put herself in a situation with anyone in the past months, but it hurt her brain. It was as if there was a dark fog in her mind. "No, no. Lily, this is clearly a false positive."

     "Well, I guess it could be." Lily mulled it over, "But don't you want to be certain?"

Amra nodded her head. She tried to shove all of the negative thoughts that made her shiver. She continued to remind herself that there was nothing to fear, because this test had simply been a mistake. But she knew Lily was also right. If she didn't take another test, she would continue to worry.

     "Let's get this over with then," She stood up and grabbed her bag.

𓆰𓆪

"Two lines," Lily read the fourth pregnancy test and put it with the rest. She had lost all the joy after seeing Amra in shambles and Amra was grateful for that because as she looked at all these positive pregnancy tests, she felt fear and deep sadness.

     "You really didn't have sex with Peter, did you?" Lily fell to the floor, sitting beside Amra.

Wordlessly, Amra shook her head. She couldn't understand how this had happened. If she was pregnant, that meant she had had sex, but if she couldn't remember it, then that only left her with a frightening thought— it had happened when she was unconscious.

     "Amra, don't cry, please." Lily wrapped her arms around her. "I'm so sorry. I promise we'll figure this out and we'll get through this."

     "I'm pregnant Lily... and, and I don't even know how or who's baby this is, and, and, I just want mom. I want to be with mom!"

     "Okay." Lily held her as she cried. "Okay, we'll go to mom's."

𓆰𓆪

Amra could hear Lily arguing with Alexie out in the hall. It had been hours since Amra found she was pregnant and it seemed they had reached the same conclusion she had about how the baby came to be.

Alexie was enraged, and she could hear them arguing about who could have done it. Amra had stopped thinking about that. Deep down, she felt it was no one they knew. And it didn't matter to her anymore. She was pregnant, and there was nothing she could do to reverse that. 

Amra sighed, instinctively she wrapped her hands around her belly where she knew a small child was growing. "Hello, baby. When did you get here?" She waited. "Please tell me." Nothing.

Not that she expected it, but the silence was eating her alive. She knew she would probably never know the answer to that. A bigger part of her didn't want to know the answer. "You won't need a father, baby. You'll have aunty Lily, uncle Alexie, your grandma Sandy and grandpa Brian." Nonetheless, as she closed her eyes, she cried.

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