Deadly Rejection

                                    

                                          
Eda's head fell into Hunter's hands, which just added to the shock. Oh my god I just got her killed oh my god oh my god oh my---
"OW!" her head groaned. "Oh, I hate it when that happens."
Hunter let out a scream that he hadn't been able to do since fourth grade.
"Calm down, kid," Eda told him. "This just happens when you get older."
"Does it?!"
Guards started to file into the room, weapons at hand. The Warden snatched King's crown off of his head.
"Finally, I have you cornered, Eda the Owl Lady," he growled. "It's been a struggle, but I knew once I took your pet's toy, you'd come running."
King let out a wail as Wrath crushed the crown. "My poweeeeeeeeeer!"
"Whaddaya want, Warden?" Eda snapped. "I've never actually broken any of your stupid laws---in front of you!"
"You're not helping your case here!" Hunter hissed.
"I want you..."
Warden Wrath got down on one knee, pulling out a bouquet of flowers. "To go out with me."
Hunter shook his head, wondering if he'd misheard. Eda and King looked just as confused.
But then the guards started cheering the Warden on, which meant that, yes, those horrifying words did just come out of this old goober's mouth.
"You've always eluded our capture," Wrath continued. "You've always been the one that got away. I found that... alluring."
"I hate everything you're saying right now," Hunter told him.
"YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!"
The Warden threw away the flowers as one of his arms turned into a tentacled mass. He grabbed Hunter and held him up high, picking up Eda's head with the other hand.
Hunter kicked and twisted in midair. "Put me down, dick-for-brains!"
"So, how about it, Owl Lady?" the Warden asked, pointedly ignoring him. "The fearsome Warden Wrath and the most powerful witch in the Boiling Isles? We'd be the strongest power couple ever!"
One of the guards picked up King, who let out an indignant squeal. Behind the Warden, Eda's body slowly inched its way across the floor.
"I mean, it's not like you can say 'no' right now," Warden Wrath added with a shrug.
Eda looked between Hunter and King, then sighed. "All right, Warden, you win. I'd just like to say something first. Come closer."
The Warden held her head closer to him.
"Just a little bit---there we go." Eda blew a raspberry right in his face, causing him to drop Hunter.
"Ugh, you impudent wench!" the Warden howled. "Don't you know how many germs are in your mouth? Gross!"
"Get over it!" she snapped. "You had your guards stalk me, and then you cut off my head! I am not going out with you!"
Warden Wrath let out a deep growl. "Well, if you don't accept... then I have no choice but to destroy---"
Hunter grabbed Eda's staff and whacked him on the head with it---not knocking him out, unfortunately, but he dropped Eda's head and fell to the floor with a groan.
"Nice one, kid," Eda said, grinning.
"Okay, we're going now," Hunter announced, grabbing her, King, and her body and climbing onto the staff. "Uh... expecto flying? Abracadabra?"