𝖢𝖧𝖠𝖯𝖳𝖤𝖱 𝖲𝖨𝖷𝖳𝖸

                                    

                                          

                            

                                
                            
                              
                                  
                              
                              
                                
                                  
                                  
                                
                              
                             
                            
                            
                          
                          
BRIANNA 
I opened the door and got inside. Rushed footsteps came my way and I was faced with an angry mother. 
"Where the fuck have you been?" She shouted. I didn't have the energy to respond neither to even look up. I was done with life and love.
"Do you know how worried I was, I thought you were abducted. Never have you ever snuck out, at the night." She continued to shout and I sat down on the living room sofa. 
"Zuri, maybe you should-" Malcolm's soft voice. I take off my heels and hunch my knees up to my chest.
"No, she has never had a reason to lie to me. I grounded you for your education. Because you were partying every other day. Now you sneak out of my house to go to a party. Explain-" She shouts and gets cut off by Malcolm.
"Zuri, she's not well." He shouts over her. He sits infront of me and pushes my hair out of my face, gently. "Whats wrong, kid?" 
"Why are boys...boys?" I whisper. He chuckles softly.
"They still learning how to navigate that side of life, what did he do?" He asks in a comforting way. Mother sits down behind me and rests her chin on my shoulder. She rubs my back soothingly and pecks my shoulder. 
"What hasn't he done?" I look down at my feet. We all sit in a small comfortable silence. Strangely, I don't feel tears rolling down or sitting on the corner of my eyes. I'm...numb. My heart beat feels feint and my body keeps releasing air, cool air. 
This numb feeling...I don't know. Something about is welcoming. I listen closely to the beat of my heart, I haven't listened to it in a long time. I've gotten so used to it not there. I feel my mind float and not think about anything, it feels free. No thoughts about him or her. I haven't a clue why I'm liking this but it's oddly satisfying. Never would I have sat down and felt numb, it was forbidden to my body. Now, I think I want to feel both. I want pain and numbness, a great balance of both. 
"I did something..." Mother mumbles into the silence. She gets up and leaves the room. She comes back with her laptop. She opens her emails and goes to the Oxford one. She shows it to me and I look at it. 
"What am I looking at?" It's my reply. 
"You hit draft instead of send." She says and smiles. "I kept it in the drafts and acted oblivious. I wanted to convince you...or force you," she chuckles, " to take it. This is your dream place. You and your father would talk in a British accent and waltz around the room acting high and mighty. You'll love it there. Not to mention you worked for this. Please Brianna, take the scholarship. Think of yourself for once."