Chapter 11

                                    

                                          
Cameron
I'm sitting in front of Maddie's house at midnight with the biggest lump in my throat. I can't seem to gather up the courage to text her to let her know that I'm here, mostly because I have no idea what she's about to tell me.
What did she want to talk about? What about us did she mean? Does she want to start things again? Does she want to mess around? Is that why she wanted me to come over so late?
And if she does want that, am I going to? Am I going to throw away what I have with Katie for her? 
Fuck. I shake my head and pull out my phone to text her that I'm outside. I just want to get this over with so that I can stop being so damn nervous. 
She comes out after about two minutes or so. She's wearing a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt that her tits are straining against. I let out a frustrated sigh before I step out of my car. 
It's windy out, and I fight the urge to brush one of her brown ringlets behind her ear. She's so damn beautiful. I don't think I'll ever get tired of staring at her. 
"Hey," she says nervously, twirling her fingers around in circles in front of her. She must be nervous too. "Thanks for meeting me."
It hadn't been hard. I waited until Katie fell asleep and snuck out. If she knew that I was coming over here to talk to Maddie she never would have let me come. Keeping this a secret is just what's best. 
Finally, I nod when I realize I haven't said anything. "What did you want to talk about?"
"I just..." She pauses, looking like about a million thoughts are going off in her head at once. "I just don't want things to be awkward between us anymore. I want to be able to move on and be happy, but I can't because I feel like there are still things that we need to talk about."
This wasn't what I thought she had brought me here for, and I find myself becoming irritated. "What is there to talk about?" I ask. My jaw twitches as I try to calm myself down. 
"The five-year plan," she whispers.
The breath hitches in my throat. I didn't think she remembered. I thought she had forgotten about that. 
"What about it?" I'm hardly able to choke out. 
"I guess I just want to know why you didn't stick to it. We had a plan... You said you weren't going to fall for someone else. You said nobody would be able to compare to me, and yet—"
"Are you serious?" I furrow my eyebrows together in confusion. "You want to know why I didn't stick to our plan? I tried to reach out to you for months after I left for college, Mads. You never called me back. We had sex the night before I left right in the backseat of this car and then you just up and vanished from my life like it never even happened. Did you expect me to continue to follow a plan with someone who stopped talking to me?"
She's blinking away tears before she stares down at the pavement. I want to console her, but I'm so mad right now. I didn't fuck this up for us. It wasn't my fault. 
"Fair enough," she finally says. "I'm sorry I didn't call you back. It was just so hard at the time being away from you. After that night it would have been painful to even hear your voice." 
I blink away tears of my own as I remember how hurt I was waiting for her to call me back. Checking my phone constantly. Missing her smile, her voice, missing the girl who is standing right in front of me. The girl who I love with every piece of my being. 
"But I want you to be happy, Cameron, and that's why I wanted to talk to you. I want us to be friends again. I'm happy you found Katie, and I don't want to get in the way of that. I don't want you to think I'm angry at you for not following through with the plan because you're right, it was my fault. I should have reached out to you, I should have explained why I was hurting, I should have—"