01: Alone

                                    

                                          
I don't like being alone. I'm scared of being alone.
 I'm being forced to move all damn time. My father is a writer who likes to experience events firsthand to write about it. He goes to the scene of real crime to feel what a killer feels for writing a thriller book.
 I don't like moving, because it's lonely. As soon as you get to know people, you can't see them again. And then you have to get to know bunch of new people. It's like a cycle, cycle of loneliness.
 It wasn't like this when my mom was still alive. She was Japanese and worked as a detective in Tokyo. She met my father in a crime scene when he was snooping around. My father is Italian and has been there on an adventure for his crime series. They arrested my father as a suspect back then but let him go when they did a background check on him and find out he is a writer and do this for his book all the time. I don't know how my parents became friends, but they eventually fell in love and get married. My father settled down in Tokyo for almost 10 years because of my mom. But she died in an accident five years ago when I was eight. After that my dad left, leaving me in my grandmother's care.
 He was away for almost two years and then suddenly came back to take me with him. He asked me to go with him on adventures, and the naive 10 years old me who just wanted his dad's love, tagged along with him.
 First two months was like we are best father and daughter in the word. I go to a new school in a new city in L.A. and I get to know new people there. But it doesn't last long.
 My dad started writing new genre. He goes around playing with women for research purpose as he said, but he got himself in trouble every time. And then it was time to move, a new place, and a new target or lover for him.
 I'm tired of all this moving, of new places and I'm tired of him. I'm tired of all.
 ...
 "Eeey Kei...you can't get me" the little girl screamed with a happy smile, playing in a jungle park. The boy with black hair was following her, "you're dead if I catch you Sam"
 Then another boy grabbed her arm and pulled her under the slide to hide. He looks at her with his shining black eyes and smiled, "Baji's dumb" and they laughed together. Then Baji heard them laughing, "I can hear you laugh" and he find them. The boy let go of little girl's hand and came out of under the slide. "You want me to beat your ass again Baji?"
 "I'm gonna beat your ass Mikey"
 Boys start fighting, or in other words Mikey start beating Baji. The girl came out of the hiding and start screaming for them to stop, "stooooopppp...don't fight" but they wouldn't listen. She starts crying while screaming stop. Then Baji start bleeding, so did Mikey, the girl stepped backwards until she fell on the ground, she was crying, and was looking at her friends bleeding between her tears. It was a blurry view, but she could still see them. They stopped fighting as soon as she fell down and both of them came closer to her. They were bleeding from nose, mouth and even their eyes, and she was screaming out of fear. "Stoooopppp..."
"Stoooooppp..." I screamed as I woke up and sit up on my bed. I was dreaming. It was both a memory and a nightmare. I was drenched with sweat, my heartbeat was off the chart, and I couldn't breathe properly.
 "It's ok, it was a dream" I tried to calm myself, and my lonely heart. I missed my friends, my grandma, my family. I haven't seen them for four years. It was because of my dad, he tried to disconnect me from my friends, my past, the place I grown up, the place my mother was before she dies, the place I call home. I don't know what the reason was, but I'm sure his reason is selfish, and unfair.