chapter 71

                                    

                                          
we was laying in the bed half sleepy but I kept fighting my sleep I look at him and say "you want me to go with you tomorrow or" "my doctors appointment?" "yea" "if you wanna go you can but I was gon go back to school for practice and everything " "so no?" he look at me and say "it would be smart for you to still go I go to my doctor's appointment by myself usually anyways imma be ok we can facetime if you just wanna be around me or sumn and ion want you to get in trouble so yea go to school tomar" I nod mumbling "right" 
                          
"if we moved in together do you think it would be as different as right now like us with each other every day like no breaks like we do have now" he put his hands behind his head and mumble "ion know ma but it might be better like you said aslong as we never stop communicating we'll know what each other needs like right now I know you till the point where if we're in a public place in front of a lot of people your not gon talk unless someone aiming at you or your social battery going out and you letting me know" I look at him side ways and say "I don't mean to stop your fun it's just I don't go out as much as I do with you like when it was just me remember when you asked me to that basketball court or whatever and I was just getting food that was a normal night for me I was finna go home with my favorite food after school and go to sleep while watching my favorite movies until you now I feel like I be everywhere I've never seen as much as you've shown me kinda embarrassing but yea" .
                          
"there's nothing to be embarrassed of you was minding your business it brought you peace as it should" I nod scooting closer to him in his face "am I weird to you?" "no why would you be?" "I don't know if you didn't know me like you know me now would we still be close or if I had talked to somebody else like I talked to you on the football team would we still end up together " "no and yea aslong as you didn't fuck em yea" I bump my nose with him saying " that's not right so if I didn't give you my v card and gave it to someone else we wouldn't be friends or together " he look at my eyes and say "dats not what I'm saying  I'm saying that if you talked to someone on the football team other than me I wouldn't feel right talking to you I mean look at the dudes on the football team and than me besides Sean cause Sean the bro it's not you I couldn't see you doing that" 
                          
"who do you think I am jay I make mistakes like everybody else very far from perfect" " I never said you was perfect" I go into shock he look at me grabbing my hip pulling me closer "I know how that sounded but like ian mean it like that" I nod as he rub my back "it was mean to be as like I know you've made mistakes just like I have but you wouldn't date someone other than me on the team you couldn't see yourself doing it either" "jay I like mean boys so " "there's a difference between mean and disresptful mean is intentional disresptful is having no respect for you I draw a line between both because I adore you" I smile a little and say "what if I told you I liked being degraded or something would you do it willing to fulfill that spot in me " I side eye him as he was thinking and he turn to me as I turn my head the other way "I guess I would try to fulfill it but damn bae this kinda crazy ion wanna hurt you or nothing " "you won't I trust you but I don't know can we just try it once I want to see".
                          
I look at him watching his face and he shake his head and say "no we good " I look at him finna say something when he say "don't do that crying shit either cause it ain gon work this time I said no " i nod as he huff probably tired he lay his head against my chest as I rub his head and massage his ear he kiss my titties putting his face in em and fall asleep easily I just stayed up ion really sleep unless it's like day time but it was 7 something so I'm not sleepy forreal.
                          
And he didn't have to say no I just wanted to try maybe stimulation and that's all I promise no hitting me because fuck around we'll be boxing in dis hoe I kiss his head as he sleeps and watch TV reading the captions so I won't wake him tryna hear it.
                          
The next day 
                          
there was no school because teacher work day so I texted him walking down the street to a store and said "you lied to me we don't even have school today" I see bubbles pop up showing he was texting back than cut my phone off reaching in my wallet to see what I got which was $148.77 on my cash app card and $20 in cash I still feel broke tho I grab a brisk tea, some doritos and mint gum.He was calling me and I answer waiting in line 
                          
"yes"
                          
"I forgot about that today and we both know I'm not an liar so stop saying dat shit"
                          
"yea ok how was the doctor's appointment" 
                          
"it was cool a nigga got chlamydia but I'll be ok"
                          
I make a stank face like what the fuck do you mean 
"jay are you serious? omg I'm gon fucking die" I was bout to start crying in the store 
                          
"bae why is you sniffling like that...bruh is you fucking crying" 
                          
"yes because like I got that shit and like i-" 
                          
"I was playing bae it was just a joke but if I did atleast we'd have it together right?"