~9. Why not the other man?

                                    

                                          

                            
                              
                                
                                
                              
                            
                            
                          
Без тебя я не я - Hammali & Navai (ft. Jony) 
Jimin couldn't get rid of those words even when he tried. He had a newborn child and his wife was healthy, yet the unsettling emotions and dominant guilt still drove him. He smiled and ate, took care of his life partner, and joked, but everything seemed like a chore. 
Rosenow was soon released from the hospital post-delivery and the three were currently at their bungalow. He had taken full-time parental leave and was at home for the following month. After the woman lay in bed, he walked out and gingerly shut the bedroom door behind him. 
In his magenta silk robes and slippers, he was ready for bed, but like the whole week, he couldn't close his eyes. Waltzing into his library, he picked a neurobiology book and poured himself premium scotch — his friend since he learned to drink.
He settled on a chair and took one sip. His head hurt and the words on the pages looked too small to focus. To his discredit, he hadn't turned on the reading lights.
I am not letting him die because of you this time. 
The haunting words slapped him again. All the six years he was trying to find Jungkook, the thought did cross his mind a few times, but he was too much of a coward to conclude that he could deal with the boy's death on his conscience, so he disregarded it meticulously, every single time. "I love her. I love her." He rasped, head falling back and eyes closed as he carded his hair and tugged at the roots. 
He pulled out his phone from his robe pocket and twiddled with his father's contact number. His thumb hovered right on top of her name, but he couldn't make the call. He couldn't leave his 7-day-old baby boy with his bedridden wife. Could he? 
I am not letting him die because of you this time.
Gripping the glass, he bottomed it out, his chest rising and falling frantically in the shackles of his responsibilities. All he wanted was to efface the pin-prick in his heart, make it ineffective, but he didn't know how to. 
He lurched on his phone again and unlocked it to go on the travel site. His thumbs automatically typed 'flights from Korea to Neoviva' before he could realize it, and then he threw the device back on the table. 
The more time he stayed home, the less likely it was for him to find Jungkook. He was sure that Taehyung would rather disfigure him than let him see Jungkook ever again. 
When his phone vibrated, he saw Taehyung's name flashing in his blurry vision. With a need like breathing oxygen, he charged at the device, ignoring how his fingers trembled with the spike in his heart rate. "Hello."
"Fuck you, JIMIN! FUCK YOU!" Taehyung bellowed from the other side of the phone. 
"What did you mean when you said I am not letting him die because of you this time?"
"Didn't you hear me?" Taehyung repeated, his voice full of disdain. He never called him in years, and when he had now, Jimin felt immune to the hate that he anticipated. All he needed was an answer. "FUCK YOU! I REGRET I WAS EVER FRIENDS WITH YOU! I- I won't forgive you." The man's breath hitched. 
Jimin's chin trembled as his tears silently escaped his eyes. He could hear the tram behind the man, the horns of the cars, and announcements blaring off in English. "Where are you?" He asked as calmly as he could.