Chapter 39

                                    

                                          
Your knees buckle as your feet slam to the floor, and it briefly crosses your mind that you may have pushed yourself too hard.  You picture Maria and Sam, certain you were dead less than an hour ago, as you stagger in a bid to keep yourself upright.  Your vision clouds, and you place your hands out, hoping to break your fall. 
Before you can hit the ground, a pair of strong arms catch you, holding you upright as they slide your arm around their shoulder and their own around your waist.  Looking up, you see Peter, his mask pulled off, eyes puffy and red.  Dirt coats his skin despite the mask he was wearing, and tears have left track marks through the grime as blood drips from a cut to the edge of his dishevelled hair. 
You don't get a chance to thank him. A second pair of hands pull you from his grip.  You feel them wrap around you tightly, pulling you close before they push you away, holding you at arms length as if to check you are real.  You look up to see Natasha's emerald eyes staring back at you, fighting to hold back the tears she has so far managed to contain. 
"Y/N?" Her voice cracks a little as your name leaves her lips."I don't understand.  How?  What happened?" 
"I don't know, it took a little longer to heal than normal I guess" you shake your head making a conscious decision to avoid mentioning the part where you died "I'm OK though, I swear, I'm already getting my strength back" 
You step away from Nat, attempting to take in the scene around you.  Vehicles lie on their sides or, in one case, completely upside down.  Small patches of fire have broken out amongst them, and you turn your head away as you spot the bodies of those trapped beneath.  Your friends are battered and bruised, bloody even, but they're all on their feet, and you take no pleasure in casualties regardless of the side they fought on. 
Behind Nat, you spot Monica and Jessica rounding up HYDRA survivors with Sam.  Noticing you watching, he gives a solemn nod in your direction. 
"Umm this is probably a bad time" the sound of Bruce's voice startles you, you hadn't noticed him approach or even that he was no longer green "we need to get a search party together, in the absence of SHIELD I guess that falls on us" 
"A search...?" Your heart sinks, and you quickly begin a headcount, paralysed by the fear that one of your party is missing. 
"Sydney" Nat answer for Bruce. 
"Yeah, I umm well, if she's alive, then we might be able to help her back at the compound and if..." Bruce trails off with a pointed look at you. 
"If she's dead, then her body hands HYDRA a weapon," you finish for him. 
He nods solemnly while avoiding eye contact with you.  You're vaguely aware of Nat staring at you, her brow furrowed and her shoulders stiff.  You know she is expecting you to crumble like you did in the jet all those months ago but things are different now, people are relying on you and deep down you know you did what needed to be done. 
"Let's go," the words come out confidently as you raise your head, square your shoulders, and begin walking in the direction you believe Sydney was last fighting from.  Beside you, Natasha hides her surprise, falling silently into step with you.  To your right, Peter and Bruce also begin to follow you, although they appear reluctant to get too close, leaving a comfortable gap between themselves and where you walk with Nat.  
The sound of hurried footsteps alerts you to another body approaching.  Your palm briefly glows blue as you turn and brace yourself for an attack, but you're met by the sight of Yelena jogging towards you, joining your search without question.  With a curt nod, she places herself by your right shoulder, silently giving the support you're afraid to ask for. 
The three of you continue to walk in silence, your eyes glued to the ground ahead of you.  You don't voice a secret desire to find Sydney alive. After everything, it leaves a heavy layer of guilt in your gut.  Peter and Bruce branch further out, increasing the search area.  
Behind you, there are a few shouts from the group securing survivors followed by the sound of trucks approaching.  As you turn to look over your shoulder, you see SHIELD agents arriving and joining Sam, loading captives into their vehicles. 
Without a word, you keep walking, a smile on your face.  Fury came through after all.  As you look to your left, you see Nat raise an eyebrow but only shake your head in return. 
"Y/N over here," Peter yells, already breaking into a sprint. 
As one, your group turns towards him and begins to run.  You're so focused on where you are going that it doesn't register in your head that Peter has stopped running. 
You join him on the top of a small grassy hill, his outstretched arm bringing you to a rapid stop.  Below you, Sydney lies in the dirt. She's pale and dirty, her body unmoving.  It's several seconds before you see her eyes flicker in your direction, her lips move as if to mouth words that never reach you and her chest heaves as she fights to fill her lungs. 
You take a step forward before the air beside her shimmers.  You blink twice, trying to prove your eyes wrong as a female steps out of the empty space beside your one-time saviour.  You don't realise it has happened, but your hands glow blue.  Beside you, you hear Nat and Yelena draw their guns. 
The only movement from the newcomer is a slight tilt of the head and a smirk that crosses her face.  Her eyes never leave you as her raven hair billows in the breeze behind her. 
For seconds that feel like an eternity, you stand, afraid to break eye contact.  Without blinking, you take a step forward.  She raises an eyebrow, her smirk growing further. You lift your foot to take another step. 
"Natasha..." Yelena's voice is layered with concern. 
As your foot hits the floor, you realise your palms are empty, the flames gone.  You desperately try to replace them but fail.  Your eyes widen, realisation that something is wrong sinking in.  She looks down towards Sydney, breaking eye contact with you. 
Again, Sydney's mouth moves.  This time, you realise she is repeating a single word...
Run.
There's no time to react. Her body convulses on the floor as green volts of what you could only describe as electricity flow from the newcomer. 
As the green fades, the newcomer stands before you, arms outstretched to her sides, although you don't notice.  Your eyes remain on Sydney as her head falls back, eyes unblinking, and her chest falls still.