So This is Christmas - Aoibhe POV

                                    

                                          
TW: THIS CHAPTER TALKS OF SERIOUS AND POTENTIALLY TRIGGERING SUBJECTS SUCH AS LOOSING A CHILD. IF THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR YOU, PLEASE SKIP THIS CHAPTER.
                          
It all happened so quick you barely took it in. You and two other doctors are wheeling Molly around the corner into the prepped surgery room when you feel the kick in your stomach. You stop walking and the other doctors look at you. You try to speak, to say something, but you can't and instead you feel your head go dizzy before you fall to the ground, the last thing you hear is one of the doctors calling someone over for you.
                          
Even though you passed out, you knew exactly what had happened. And when you wake up in the sterile hospital bed, it hits harder than ever. You move your hand to your stomach, feeling the texture of the hospital gown. You close your eyes tightly, trying not to let the tears fall, praying that what you think happened was all a dream. That's when you hear him.
                          
"She's my wife! I'm going in there to see her!!" You look over and through your watering eyes you see Fred passing through the doors, two doctors seemingly giving up on containing him. He stops at your side, grabbing both your hands "Aoibhe" and at the sound of your name from his lips you break down completely, "It's true, it's over isn't it?" You say, and Fred just holds you shushing your tears as you let them fall freely down your face. He sits there and holds you, trying hard to stay strong himself as he comforts you slowly.
                          
You're still sitting there an hour later, Fred now sitting on your bed. The only thing that's happened is a doctor came in and explained that the pressure of Molly's sudden crashing had put too much weight on the baby, he tells you things like this happen a lot, and that he's truly sorry you had to go through it yourself.
                          
You block out most of the other words from the doctor. Fred, still holding your hand, asks questions. But all you can do is sit there and look down at the light blue blankets on the hospital bed. The doctor ends his sentence with "You two can leave whenever you want, although she shouldn't be apparating on her own" Fred waves goodbye to the doctor and he leaves. 
                          
Fred turned to you in that moment, asking a question you were dreading, "Do you want to go?" He asks softly, brushing your hair off your face, but you can't look at him as you shake your head. Fred nods silently, granting your wishes, and the two of you sit there in silence with each other for a while longer. 
                          
You felt horrible. You knew the risks of the pregnancy, you knew the chances of it failing, and yet you still felt an emptiness inside of you. Was there something wrong with you? Was it you that did this? You try to take a deep breath and you feel Fred squeeze your hand beside you as you close your eyes. You can't blame yourself, as the doctor said, this could happen to anyone... But it didn't happen to just anyone, it happened to you. And there was nothing you could do to erase it, nothing you could do to stop the pounding heartache inside of you.
                          
Eventually Fred told you you had to go back to The Burrow, and no matter now reluctant you were, you followed him out. Before you left you asked him "How's Molly?" You heard the roughness in your voice as you whispered this to him "She got through the surgery" he whispered back, and you hear the catching in his throat "I don't know the technical terms, but apparently her body rejected some of the medicine or something they gave her and it made her body crash" you nod along, but you feel your eyes drooping as he speaks. It seems he senses this and he turns down to look at you and smiles "Let's get you home" and the two of you apparate back to The Burrow.
                          
Fred practically carries you up the stairs, making everyone leave you alone as he does. You assume with the news of your passing out Robyn told everyone what had happened, and at the moment, you couldn't handle their pitying looks. 
                          
As Fred set you in your bed you instinctively curled yourself into a ball, wrapping your arms around your legs and closing yourself off. Fred took off your shoes for you and placed your blankets over you, he offers to get you some food and leaves the room.
                          
You sit there, not daring to close your eyes for fear of the thoughts and images that would come. Instead you stare at the wall opposite you and wait for Fred to come. But when he does, you can't focus on him. His appearance before comforted you, his touch made you feel safe, but now when you see his face and hear his voice you think of what could have been... You can't eat the food he brought you either, a dinner Robyn and Morgan threw together for everyone, but instead you just sit there, feeling like the walls are caving in around you.
                          
Eventually you get to sleep, Fred tries to put his arm around you but you can't stand his touch anymore, he offers to leave but you beg him to stay, and by the end of the night you're both just laying still next to each other. You want to cry, to move, to sleep, but all you can do it sit there.
                          
The next week is the same, you continue to sit in your bed, the only thing you end up eating being saltines. And all the while, Fred stays beside you. Even when Molly wakes up, and everyone goes to see her, he stays with you instead, no matter how difficult you may be, he refuses to leave your side. Even when Molly comes home he stays there.
                          
He only leaves when Molly comes in one day, asking to speak with you alone. He goes reluctantly, and although you don't want to be alone with Molly without him, you know you should let him go. 
                          
She sits at your feet and looks up at you, grabbing your hand and squeezing it lightly. You see the scar on her neck, and you can tell how weak she still is, but despite it she smiles at you. "How are you?" You finally say, but Molly shakes her head "I'm fine dear" she says in her usual motherly tone "It's you I came to check on" and you look down, knowing she's going to talk even if you don't. "You know," Molly says after you don't respond "I had a miscarriage myself" and at this you look up at her finally, questioning in your eyes "Right after the twins were born. I was told I was putting too much pressure on myself, with the war and everything. The whole incident crushed me. I didn't go to Order meetings for weeks, and Arthur and the kids stayed beside me the whole time, the kids didn't understand it exactly, but they knew that I needed comfort with people, not to be left alone" at this you feel your eyes water and Molly squeezes your hand "I know it's hard dear, but don't lock yourself in here. There are tons of people downstairs who care for you, and will continue to love you no matter what" you nod, wiping your face.
                          
Molly moves closer to you and wraps her arms around you "I'm sorry this happened to you, but don't let it ruin your life, stay strong, stay hopeful" and she lets go of you, and stands up. She doesn't wait for you to talk, knowing you probably won't but instead sends you an air kiss by the door before leaving. 
                          
Fred comes right back in as she leaves and sits down with you immediately "What did you two talk about?" He asks, and you answer, though not what he was expecting, "I want to go downstairs" after a moment of surprise he nods and grants your wish, helping you up and off the bed, and you both exit the room, ready to brave the world.