Chapter 35 (revised)

                                    

                                          
(Hunter's POV)
I found myself standing outside my house. I didn't want to go in, instead I sat on the steps. 
No one was around, the streets were empty, you couldn't even hear cars on the road. 
I bit my lip, trying not to let myself tear up. Eventually I got up and walked inside, I stopped by the door.
He had taken everything, his coats, his extra ignition gloves, his tea and mug, everything. And for some reason, knowing that everything was gone, made the house feel even emptier. 
I felt like my heart had been chewed up and spit back out. 
You know that feeling? Where you're so overwhelmed with emotion that you almost feel numb?
Almost.
I almost felt numb, it wasn't enough to completely make everything go away.
It was like I was numb, but I still felt everything.
It's just... I don't know what to do. Stay in Central until the promised day is over and then go back to Briggs?
I want to go to Briggs now. I don't want to be here.
Soon I found myself laying in bed, in my lonely bed. I sat up, letting my legs hang off the edge. 
I sat quietly, feeing my chest rise and fall.
What was all of that?
And then I took a jagged breath, feeling a sob escape my mouth. I suppressed it, taking a deep breath and sniffing. Don't-
Don't be weak.
I laid back down and stared at the ceiling, feeling tears slide down the side of my face. It wasn't even a sobby, gaspy cry, more like a constant one; calm, almost. 
At work, at Armstrongs side, I always had things to do. My mind was occupied, but at night, when there was nothing to do and it was quiet, I'd always think of him.
What was all of that? Was it fake? Was everything fake?
Was I right to be afraid to love someone again?
Maybe I was because.. it fell apart..
And now I feel like I won't make it.
I won't make it and it's my fault.
Because I let him in, I let him in and he destroyed me, he destroyed everything.
I don't know who to be more mad at. Myself? Or Roy.
Maybe more myself. Myself because I let my guard down, I let my guard down and I was let down.
I was let down by someone who promised everything, who said I could trust him.
I guess Howard was right. I am impossible to love-
After a while, I felt a release and everything was calm. I lifted my head, wiping my face and feeling all congested.
I laid back down. Stupid of me to think everything would be fine.
No matter how hard I tried, I could not fall asleep. Maybe I slept for an hour? Maybe. I don't know. I was sad and tired. 
After a while, I opened my eyes. I didn't feel rested at all, did I even sleep? 
You know that moment when you wake up, and everything feels at peace? You know, when you're still sleepy and you haven't remembered every shitty thing yet, you just feel okay.