"Take a seat." Mom gestures to the couch over by the fireplace. I go sit down and put my hands together. Mom steps in front of me and stares me down. "Explain to me what you did wrong."
I clench my hands together. "I didn't catch him before he fell." My voice catches in my throat.
Mom presses her lips together and blinks back tears. "Don't feel bad for that," she says. "It's hard to catch him. He falls really suddenly."
I nod with my eyes on the floor. It doesn't matter what she says, it doesn't change the fact that he has a bruise on his face because I didn't catch him even though I was right there next to him. Jake always used to catch him. I can't help but feel like an idiot compared to him.
"Logan, what did you do wrong?" she asks again.
I replay the whole thing in my head, wincing the entire time. "I . . . let him get hurt. I . . . let him roll over, and he almost choked."
"No, stop," Mom interrupts. "That was a bad seizure. I thought you did fine considering you helped him all by yourself."
"Then what did I do wrong, Mom?" I ask, suddenly losing my patience.
Mom stares me down. "Let me be very clear about this, Logan. No matter how mad you get, no matter how upset you are, you never argue about the epilepsy in front of Kaden."
I sit back in the chair and fight to not roll my eyes. That's what I did wrong?
"You heard what the doctor said about stress causing seizures, Logan!" Mom goes on. "Arguments are stressful. Do you understand how serious this is? You're lucky he didn't have another seizure!"
I wince and stare at the floor. "I know okay? I didn't mean to complain, but it was really bad this time. I mean, it was way worse than usual, and it wouldn't stop. I needed help, Mom." I choke down a sob and put my face in my hands.
"You told me I could trust you, Logan. Can I?" She stares me down, and I can't help but shake my head. I feel like I just failed the most important test of my life.
"I don't know . . ." I get up and go for the door, but stop when I open it. Kaden is sitting against the wall in the hallway, his head hanging limply. He came all the way over here, because we left him alone in the great room. He's that afraid to be alone right now.
"Kaden?" Mom pushes past me and kneels in front of him. "What's wrong?" she asks. Kaden looks up. His face looks a little red. He wipes his eyes and stares back down at the floor. "What is it, sweetie?" Mom touches his shoulder.
"I . . . It was my fault. You . . . You shouldn't . . . Don't yell at him because of me." 
Why is he trying to take the blame for the argument? I started it.
"Sweetie, it wasn't your fault and it wasn't Logan's fault."
Sure, you'll say that to him. But I know what you really think. 
"We were all upset and said things we didn't mean." Mom strokes his face, and he looks up at her. "These things happen sometimes. Just try not to worry about it, okay?" She stares into Kaden's eyes, but he turns his face away. "You must be exhausted; let's put you to sleep." Mom stands up and offers Kaden a hand up. He sighs and grabs her hand. She helps him up and guides him back to the great room.
I put my back against the wall and sag down to the floor, in the same spot where Kaden was just sitting. My throat aches and my body goes tight, but I push the emotions away until all I can feel is the emptiness in my chest.
I can't do a damn thing to stop the seizures. I used to think that meant I couldn't do anything to help, but now that we moved, I can be the one keeping Kaden safe during his seizures and helping him afterwards. And I thought that would be enough for me, knowing that I'm actually helping somehow. But what if Mom's right and I really can't take care of him? What if I can't keep him safe and he gets hurt again because of me?
It's bad enough that Mom can't trust me to keep him safe. It's bad enough that she's got me doubting myself. But she just had to say all that when Kaden was right outside the door. He heard the whole thing.
Now Kaden won't be able to trust me either.