Mixed Feelings

                                    

                                          
"Um," I get up, noticing i'm still at Taylor's lying on her couch. But not just on her couch, i'm completely naked. 
                          
I jump up and use a random blanket as cover, looking for where my clothes might be. I first find my shirt then slowly everything else. I run to the bathroom and put it on, before going out and realizing Taylor is on the couch too, with a blanket. 
                          
"What the hell?!" I say out loud, completely and utterly confused. Soon I hear someone from upstairs and then Alli walks down.
                          
"Hey..." She says awkwardly.
                          
"What happened?" I ask, hoping she knows.
                          
"Well Sicily and I went upstairs and yeah," she looks past me and sees Taylor, still asleep. "What did you do?"
                          
"I don't know. Wait," I pause, remembering something like it was a dream. "I think at some point we kissed."
                          
"You what?" She asks.
                          
"Oh my gosh!" I hear from behind me. Immediately I turn around to see Taylor wrapping the blanket around her like I did.
                          
"Good morning," I try to make it less weird but it didn't work because she still stared at me, like in deep thought. It's like she remembers what the hell happened last night.
                          
"Hey," she says. 
                          
"So I don't completely know what happened," I tell her as I walk over to where she's sitting on the couch.
                          
"Oh... I do," she looks at the floor, her brow furrowing.
                          
"Well I think I should, like, leave soon," I say slowly, trying not to be rude.
                          
"Why?" She asks, suddenly looking up at me. She gets up, still wrapped in a towel, and kisses me.
                          
"I-I," I stutter, pushing her back a bit. "Can you please tell me what happened?"
                          
"So we...," she whispered in my ear, explaining some things. My eyes widened at the story.
                          
"Do you like me?" I ask.
                          
"Would it be wrong if I said 'yes'?"
                          
"No but-," I start.
                          
"Then hell yes," she answers, and smiles.
                          
"But isn't it too soon to...," I say.
                          
"To date? Um... No I know you won't do anything like that to me so... No," she answers pretty confident. It's obvious she's just pushing back her emotions right now. I do that a lot too but I also know that at some point those emotions get let out somehow. Maybe by crying and confusion, maybe by anger and aggression. But somehow, it will come out.
                          
"Taylor. You seriously can't be this happy. And you certainly can't date right now. Like I said before, I know you," I hug her, hoping she realizes that it's okay to let some emotion out. I think she does because she starts crying. 
                          
"See? I need you. I want you," she says quietly, more to herself but I hear it anyway. 
                          
*
                          
"Hey guys!" I say to our group once I finally get to school. I'm a bit later than usual because I spent the night worrying about Taylor. 
                          
"Finally," Alli says. Everyone seems to be acting normal even though most of us kissed at the party two days ago. I don't understand because I can't do that. I have to have at least one person in between Taylor and I at all times and I think she's starting to notice. 
                          
"Are you avoiding me?" She asks and immediately I get nervous. Partly because I don't want to tell her the truth, and partly because she's standing right next to me.