59.

                                    

                                          
Sam
Ten days later...
I have to admit, my life fucking sucks.
For the past few days, my life's been the same, shitty, miserable fucking routine. I wake up, do community service, shower right when I get home, work out-I started working out again-shower again, then check on Sidra. It's always the same conversation; I ask about her and the babies, she promises their fine, then she asks me about my day as if cleaning up trash is exciting. It's always the same and it always fucking kills me. I miss her and I'm tired of sleeping alone. I haven't slept right in days, not since I accidentally fall asleep in the tent with her. She told me she thought about doing another ultrasound. I told her I couldn't handle it, but if she really wanted me to go, then I'll go. That was three days ago, she hasn't told me what she's decided yet. But other than that, we don't really talk. She purposely goes out during the day so I don't have to tag along. It hurt until one afternoon she wanted to go out for dinner. I was able to accompany Sidra and the others and it was fucking torture. She was right there, talking and laughing and smiling, and I couldn't do anything about it. 
I roughly run a towel over my wet rapidly, attempting to dry it as fast as I can. I walked to my room, got dressed as fast as I could, then jogged downstairs to the kitchen. Sidra's usually craving chocolate or ice cream around this time. I find her and Burkhardt sitting at the island, eating chocolate-covered strawberries. Burkhardt reaches for one and she slams his hand away. 
"Not the big ones!" She growls, and I chuckle. My small laughter gives reveals my presence and she snaps her head at me. Then she quickly looks away. Lately, she hasn't been able to look at me for more than five seconds. 
"Can we talk?" I ask her. 
She nods as she stands. "Don't touch the big ones," she warns Burkhardt then follows me into the side hall. It's so small, two people can't even walk through it shoulder to shoulder. 
I turn around and Sidra stops in front of me, peering into my eyes. "How are you feeling?"
She sighs, almost like she's disappointed. "The babies are fine, Sam." 
I shake my head. "That's not what I asked."
She softens a little. "I'm fine. I've just been cranky."
I try to smile. "I can understand."
"How was work?"
"Uh, boring."
She nods. "Right..."
"Yeah." The strange thing is this sad excuse of a conversation isn't awkward, it just feels wrong. Staring down at her now, all I want to do is grab her by her face and kiss her. We've barely touched since I tugged her out of my room and I feel so...not myself, like my skin isn't my own. "I should g-" before I could finish, she spins around and rushes back into the kitchen. I exhale loudly then turn and walk in the direction of the gym. This is my life now until further notice. 
The next day...
It's been a while since I had the nightmare of Burke hurting my Sidra, I guess the present was just too much to allow my nightmare to form. I didn't sleep much, I don't see how I could. But when morning came, I forced myself out of bed and down a large cup of coffee. Only one more day of community service...
"ROBACK!" Someone screams then there's honking, like a fucking bullhorn, and I'm tackled to the ground. A gust of wind hits me. "You fucking idiot!" The same voice growls. I recognize the voice of Porter. He's an older guy who's also a criminal and offers small talk when we're on the side of the road. And right now, he just saved my ass from aimlessly walking into traffic. "Pay attention!" He hits the back of my head then jumps off me. Considering he just save my life, I let that one slide. "Tomorrow's your last day. You don't need to spend two months in the hospital now."