eleven | bombshell

                                    

                                          
⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️
‼️ sensitive/disturbing/graphic content: mention of abuse/rape/torture
(the mentions in this chapter are pretty important for you to know whats happening in the book, so if you're going to get triggered and you can't read this chap, i'll just briefly summarise her story at the end. proceed with caution) ‼️
⏉he room was so silent, that it was making me deaf. My brothers stood there, wide eyed. Well except for Alessandro, who just stared blankly at me, studying me.
"W-Wha-" Marco sputtered.
I couldn't control it anymore, so I let the dam free. I crashed down on my knees and poured my heart out. You could only hear the sound of my wracking sobs.
i cried because i was touched without my consent.
i cried because i beaten to death every fucking day.
i cried because of all the things i forced to engage in.
i cried because i was ashamed.
i cried because i was sad.
i cried because i was angry.
i cried because i was scared.
i cried because i wanted a family.
i cried because i craved love.
i cried because i wanted to be happy and feel safe.
i cried because of all the people that left me as a result of the trust i put in them.
i cried because i wanted to accept my brothers' love, but i was just being a wuss.
i cried because i was a broken, disgusting, motherfucking slut.
i cried because why not?
I heard footsteps coming my way.
time to face the consequences.
I backed away till my back hit the couch. I shielded my face from being hit. 
instead, i felt no pain.
i felt arms wrapping around my waist as i was being pulled into someone's arms.
I slowly opened my eyes to be met with a tattooed neck, which I knew could only be Silas.
why aren't they disgusted with me?
they should throw me out!
He pulled me up, so that we were standing. He continued to hold me in silence, slightly rocking me from side to side, his head buried into the crook of my neck and shoulder.
After a few minutes, I calmed down. My eyes were bloodshot, lashes wet with tears and my face was red, stained with tears.
"Do you want to talk about it? You don't have to," I heard Silas ask me quietly, as we parted from the hug.
...
I didn't say anything. Funny thing, he was forcing me for for the past hour or two. And what's there to talk about being a prostitute? Well... a lot actually. I wasn't exactly one. I was just a broken little girl being forced in explicit acts.
should i tell them?
It's been long since I've ever spoken to someone about my feelings, except for the past month and well... 2 years ago.
I felt the need to just pour out everything, scream, talk, kick and cry. These past 12 years were horrible and I needed someone to hold onto again. 
my brothers were here as my only option. 
i'm staring to get comfortable around them, which is weird since i hate being around men.
i guess there's no harm in doing so, i've got nothing to lose, so, fuck it. 
leggo.
"O-Okay," I agreed, wiping my wet cheeks.
"You sure? You don't have to," Giovanni said softly.
"Yeah. I want to. No really - I... f-feel like it," I murmured, sitting down on the couch, as the rest of my brothers followed.