Is it love? (part 11)

                                    

                                          
Beam's P.O.V.
                          
Looking at the game that was set up in front of us and mom was explaining I gulped. It seemed to be way more difficult. I was looking at the course they had created. Every game until now has been easy it always starts like that easy to difficult but since this time they were cut short we had only seen the easy ones. 
                          
"Ok so first you have to jump over the first obstacles, then drop to the ground and crawl under the net and lastly you need to reach the rope, pull it down so the bucket of water falls on you. Oh and the water must fall on both team members which means you can't pull the rope until both of you completed the previous parts of the challenge." Explained mom and we both nodded. Forth and I were the youngest here competitors. There were two other teams. My dad and Forths dad and two older cousins of our who were girls and two years older than us. I think we could win but everyone here has more experience in the games so we don't know. Should I even win? Won't Forth be mad? He thinks I still want to ask for us to stay just friends like before if I win. I should let him win the next one instead I know deep down he's excited to win too. I was pulled out of my thoughts when he grabbed me by the arm and pulled me.
                          
"Come on its starting we have to win this." He said determined not looking at me just ahead.
                          
"Forth..." I tried one last time but he shook his head.
                          
"Focus we need to win." He said and I sighed looking forward. We were already in place waiting.
                          
"Start!" Shouted mom and I took of running with Forth. I concentrated on jumping the first obstacles which was a little hard but I managed. Forth was slightly ahead. He dropped to the ground and started crawling. I did the same when I finished and he was already half way through. I tried to hurry since he had to wait for me. I was finally making some way when my feet got stuck in the net I sighed. I tried to untie myself as fast as I could and continued. When I got out I realized I was the last one. They were all jumping to reach the rope. While running to Forth I had an idea.
                          
"Catch me!" I screamed and he seemed surprised. When I was close enough I jumped on him wrapping my legs around his waist. Thankfully he catches me in time and I concentrate on the rope. I managed to grip it with my fingers. I pulled it as hard as I could making the water splash against Forth and I. I could hear everyone cheering but I concentrated on Forth. I was still in his arms looking down at him. He was not saying anything either just looking at me. I was feeling so happy in the moment and he was looking at me like that. My first instinct was to pull his face closer and kiss him. I didn't care that both of our entire families were watching I was just lost in the moment. He responded to the kiss tightening his arms around me and I felt like the happiest man alive. When I pulled back I was happy feeling like this was the start of something new. I suddenly remembered everyone was here when Forth put me down. I hid my face in his chest and I felt him put his arms around me.
                          
"Nothing to see here." He said pulling me away. We were walking away from everyone and I could feel my face being hot. We just made out in front of everyone here I can't believe it. When we were away from everyone Forth let me out of his embrace. I was smiling when I looked at him but he had a serious face. He seemed mad? 
                          
"Why did you do that? I told you I didn't want your pity love and you go and kiss me in front of both our families! Do you like seeing me hurt? Is that it? Because I'm tired of this! One day you act fine, the next you're cold to me and act like I am the worst person in the world for loving you and then you basically throw yourself to me! I can't keep up with this anymore Beam." He said and I was shocked. That was not my intention I wasn't thinking in the moment but I didn't mean anything bad.
                          
"It's not like that Forth. I didn't mean it like that. I have realized I like you too I just I haven't been able to tell you. I wanted to make up for the fact that I've been an asshole all this time I was thinking about how I could do it. My plan wasn't to kiss you in front of everybody it just happened in the moment." I said.
                          
"No, you are confused. You were clear that you didn't like me. There's no way you just changed your mind like that. Don't do this to me. I have accepted we will never be together don't get my hopes up." He said and my heart broke for him. I felt pain in my chest. He was crying I didn't like seeing him cry.
                          
"Forth I'm not kidding, I love you. I'm sure of it. I will prove it to you. I was wrong about what I did I know that. But I will never play with your feelings like that I'm being genuine right now." I said sincerely.
                          
"Yeah right. I don't need this Beam. I thought you were better than this. I heard you talking with Lam. You said that you were going to try and give me what I wanted so that I wouldn't leave you. I thought that after I didn't let you kiss me and told you I didn't want your pity love that you understood." He said and I gasped. I admit that was the stupidest thing I have ever said but I was just trying to figure things out. In the moment it didn't sound like a bad idea.
                          
"Forth..." I started to say but he cut me off.
                          
"No Beam I don't want any of your excuses. I'm done. I never asked you to love me back, I never forced you to do anything. You know that not even for a second I contemplated the idea of leaving your side willingly. But I'm tired of trying to make everything go back to normal. I'm trying my hardest not to love you anymore and you just go ahead and kiss me. That just makes things harder and I don't know I don't even want to see you right now. If you don't want to deal with everyone's questions I suggest you go back to our room." He said before walking away.
                          
"Shit." I said watching him leave. When I couldn't see him anymore I just fell to the ground. I sat down and cried. I felt pain in my chest without even realizing I just started crying. I know I deserve this though. I've made a lot of stupid mistakes but I'm sure of one thing and it's that I love him. It hurts but I know that he has endured worst that this. So I will fight for him. I will show him I am genuine with the my feelings no matter what it takes. Lam and Park where the first ones to find me.
                          
"What happened?" Ask Lam.
                          
"He thinks I did it out of pity and it's really mad. He doesn't believe I could love him back. Can you guys look for him? Make sure he is ok." I said sadly.
                          
"I'll go look for him you stay with him Lam." Said Park before quickly leaving. Lam looked at me with Pity.
                          
"I'm fine, I shouldn't have kissed him it was an impulse. Now it will be harder for him to believe I genuinely like him. He knows that stupid shit I said to you about pretending to like him so he wouldn't leave me. So I ended up hurting him more." I said starting to cry again.
                          
"Everything will be ok, Park and I had trouble too in the beginning. We already know he loves you and you love him. You just need to show it to him and everything will be fine." He said and I nodded.
                          
"I know, I just don't like seeing him sad specially when it my fault. I have a lot to make up for." I said standing up. I guess it my turn to fight for us. 

                          
A.N.
                          
It's been a hard week lots of crying, lots of sadness but we are fighting through it. I finally had some time to sit down and write a little which made me feel better at first but I have deleted and rewritten this chapter like three times already. This was the best outcome I could get so here you go. As always stay safe and I will see you guys on the next chapter!