12. The Casket Girls: Part 1

                                    

                                          
A/N: Hello awesome readers! How are we doing? Thank you so so much for reading this super dark, non-MaNan like story a chance & sticking by it! I love it when I read you heartfelt thoughts after every chapter. Do keep sharing them :)
                          
Happy Reading! :)
                          
***
                          
"Choice is the most powerful tool we have; everything boils down to choices. We exist in a field of infinite possibilities; every choice we make shuts an infinite number of doors and opens an infinite number of doors. At any point we can change the direction of our lives by a simple choice. It is all in our hands, our minds and our hearts" ~ Voice of the Ocean, Nandini.
                          
Nandini:
                          
I was toying with the thought of a few lines I had written in my first novel, while writing I had no inkling exactly how the power of choices would play out in my life. People who have read these lines of my book, I don't know how much they understood it either, maybe that's why my first novel tanked too; people are more often than not, scared to make bold choices, therefore they are unable to see the full blown repercussions of difficult choices made. Did I know while writing that book, that one day I would choose my child's need of a father over my self-esteem and stay back in a dead marriage; did I know, I would one day let a man who had always been a brother figure, walk into my life and have a secret affair with him; did I know I would be cheating on my husband with the man who was engaged to my half-sister; did I know I would love a man so much that I would choose him over everything I had learnt to value all my life; did I know I would decide to forgive the one woman I hated all my life, 'mumma'; did I know what floodgates I was opening in my life, when I made these choices? I probably didn't; but these choices opened the door for me which led me there, that day. A woman who loved a man outside her marriage, lost a best friend who was more than family, was likely to lose the husband she never loved, lost the last mother figure she had in life, and didn't know how to be a good mother amidst all this.
                          
Did I regret where I stood, despite all this, that wasn't the case; because amongst all these choices, I had made a choice one night to let Manik into my life, it was reckless and opened doors that wiped away my sanity, stability and all relations, but I didn't regret it ever; because had I not opened that door, I wouldn't have gotten the one person who was more to me than almost all my losses combined; because that choice led me to Manik.
                          
I was sitting on the couch in the hall while musing to myself, and indulging in these thoughts, when I heard the doorbell ring, I thought it was Aliya, she had gone out to meet Navya; but when I opened the door, I was surprised to see Aryamann standing before me. I stepped aside, letting him into the house, he walked in and looked around; I told him Aliya was not home and he nodded in acknowledgement. As he sat on the couch, I joined him with a cup of coffee; I knew we had a terrible conversation due, and it couldn't be pushed further, I was bracing up for yet another storm, the one that would end my marriage.
                          
"How is Armaan, where is he?" I broke the awkward silence between us.
                          
"Don't worry, he is at the hotel, with a house staff in attendance" he replied quietly. I nodded in understanding and looked at him, waiting for him to start. He looked at me and then everything around us, he was quiet.
                          
"Aryamann, we have to talk about it at some point; we cannot be silent about it forever, right?" I whispered, not looking at him.
                          
Aryamann laughed a mirthless laugh, "Of all the times in our married life, this is the time you chose words over silence?" he asked quietly, looking at me. I sighed, I knew he was here to accuse me, blame me, maybe even abuse me, before leaving me; but I was tired, I didn't want all that; I had suffered enough on his account, for years now. I just straight away wanted to go to the part where he'd talk about leaving me, and we'd discuss Armaan's custody.