07 Response to Loss

                                    

                                          
How can such a day turned like this so fast?
Yesterday, I saw papa for the first time since he's been arrested and now he's gone. Valentine killed him for attempting to stop him from taking the Soul Sword. Oh, did I mention that he was also responsible for the Demon attack? He staged it so we would take the body back and create a diversion in the Institute.
All the more reason why the Cup shouldn't be in his possession.
My father... I know he knew what he did was wrong but he never made me feel unloved. Every little thing I accomplished, he was proud. We even celebrated the first time I aced every goal shots   with my knife throwing training when I was six... he is-- was many things but he was a good father.
He's not going to even have a proper farewell as he was ineligible for being proven guilty as traitor to the Clave. His body was sent to Idris this morning to be buried in The Cemetery of the Disgraced. I did get to say goodbye though after I was approved that I'll be the one to accompany him.
I can't even wrap my head around the fact that Valentine now possesses two of the three Mortal Instruments. Other than dealing with my own grieving, Alec is not doing well about the guilt he felt when that demon was inside him, made him killed Jocelyn.
Alec and Izzy were both possessed by the Demon. Alec killed Jocelyn in rage for very obvious reason while Izzy almost kill Alec because of jelousy. Izzy felt Alec was their parent's favorite child.
Luckily, Clary stopped her by stabbing her to release the Demon out of her before Clary killed the Demon herself. Only now, Izzy obtain a deep Demon wound on the back of her shoulder.
"Alec." I called from behind him as I block the machine sensor, stopping disk targets to fan out.
Jace told me as soon as I got back from Idris that Alec's been here at the roof for hours. He tried to bring Alec back down himself but he just ignored him.
"Move." Alec said, turning to me. Pointing his weapon at my direction.
"How long have you been up here?" I asked, calmly. I noticed the blood in his right fingers that was stretching the string of his bow.
"I'm glamoured. No one can see me. Move." he repeated, his face is stern.
"You can't beat yourself up." I firmed, not moving. 
"I'm not." his bow and arrow are still pointed to me.
"Look who are you talking to. It's me, Alec. I know you your whole life. What happened with Jocelyn wasn't your fault, that was the demon. Please, you have to stop-"
"Get out of the way." he ordered, slightly raising his voice as he cut me off. I raised my hands out in surrender.
"Hey. Same side, remember?" I told him, then he lower his weapon, exhaling.
The first several months he practice using bow, he used to shot arrows everywhere almost hitting either Jace, Izzy, or me as we trained together, forming the joke that 'we're on the same side' to make him careful where he aim.
"Come on. Let's go back inside. Let's treat your hand." I said before pushing the off button on the machine.
"That's the last place I want to be." he mutter, walking to the edge of the roof.
I followed him "Alec, Valentine has the Soul Sword. He slaughtered the Silent Brothers and killed my father. We need our best soldiers-"
"Stop pretending this never happened!" he raised his voice, looking back to me. His expression is full of doubt, shame and... pain "I couldn't save you and Jace from Valentine. I couldn't save Jace from the City of Bones. I-- she's Clary's mother... Jace's mother." he said before turning his back, taking his stele out.