Thinking

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I've been thinking. What if I just gave in? What if I threw my life away and decided to devote myself to Him? What if I became a proxy? Why else would they torment me for so long if not for a reason? It's not bad enough to drive me insane, but it's persistent. If they were planning to kill me or make me go insane or ruin my life I assure you they would've done it by now. I can't stop thinking about it. About proving myself. 

My head hurts. I'm going to bed. 

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