34

                                    

                                          
Brendon pov
                          
On New Year's morning I wake up happy in Ryan's arms. I happily prepare cheese toast and coffee for us. I will finally have someone  who I can make breakfasts for. I return with the tray and sit down next to Ross.
We eat in silence, smiling at each other. I notice the moon necklace around his neck and reflexively touch mine with the sun. As soon as we're clear, I have to put them together as a sign of us being together forever.
- Ryan, I'm sorry for my behavior, let me explain myself... - I'm starting the subject.
- B, I have a lot to tell you, too... - he looks at me.
- I know. - I'm interrupting him. - So why don't we start at the beginning?
- I think we should... - he agrees with me.
- So... I'm sorry I got mad when I found out about Moonlight, Ryan. - I take his hand gently.
- I should have told you right away. - He interferes. - I promise never to lie to you again.
- And I promise to always listen to you. And that I won't run away again. - I say, and Ryan laughs quietly.
- I know I've let you down many times and... - I put my finger to his lips.
- Don't say any more. You can't turn back time, Ryan, but you can always avoid screwing up the future. - I squeeze his hand.
- But... - He tries to say something, but I shush him again.
- No "but". We're both to fault. I'm the one who made you wait so long for me, and then when things started to work out between us, I had to get offended over such a trivial thing. If that was all... - I sigh. - But I behaved terribly. I bought that bar at a discounted price and cut myself off from you completely, instead of letting it go and being supportive of you when you had problems.
- Brendon, don't blame yourself. I let you down and you lost faith in me. I wasn't surprised that you didn't help me. For the rest, even if we had been together at the time, I wouldn't have asked you for help because I would have been ashamed. Luckily, Berg reached out to me, helped me release my album and bounce back, even though I didn't deserve it at all. - I see tears in his eyes.
- Ryan, don't even say that. You deserve the best, baby. - I set the tray of empty dishes down on the nightstand and move closer to Ross.
Ryan snuggles into me and bursts out crying.
- Brendon, I know you're trying, but I just don't deserve you... Sometimes it would have been better if Gabe hadn't saved me back then.... Or if I was done with myself.... - he is sobbing.
- It wouldn't have been better, Ryan. I'd miss you, I couldn't stand life without you. - I comb through his hair and tuck a strand behind his ear. - I love you more than you can imagine and I want to be with you forever. I want to share every day and every night with you. I want to experience many wonderful moments with you. I want to grow old with you... - I wipe tears from his face. - And I hope that you love me too and want the same with me. - I add.
- Brendon, I do. I really do. I just don't know if I'm right for you... - he's pulling away a little bit.
- You are right, Ryan. You're my sun and I'm your moon. We complement each other like night and day. - I slide my chain over to his and join them together. - You see, we fit together. - I smile at him. - You are perfect for me.
Ryan is silent for a moment. The corners of his mouth lift gently.
- You know, you're right. We do fit together. - He touches the chains together. - I have to stop being so hard on myself. If I'm perfect for you, I won't argue. - He moves closer to me and puts his hand on my back. - I love you Brendon - he whispers and kisses me.
I put my arms around his neck and kiss him back. It worked.
Ryan and I are finally together.
                          
- - -
                          
- Are you sure that's all? - Ryan asks, putting the last box in the trunk of his Pontiac.
- Yes. The instruments and computer from Urielectric will be brought to me by Zack tomorrow. - I counter and slam the trunk of my Tesla shut.
- I'm glad you decided to live with me, Brendon. - Ryan says and kisses me tenderly.
I pull him even closer to me.
- I'm happier. - I whisper in his ear. - From now on you will have to deal with me twenty-four hours a day, not just occasionally. - I add, and Ryan laughs.
- Living with you, Brendon, is the best thing that could have happened to me. Even if you are unbearable. Do you know why? - He asks, and I nod my head no, even though I can guess what he's about to say. - Because I love you, B. - he finishes and kisses me once more.
I swear, I could go on like this with him all day, but I would much rather go back to his, and now our house, and go to bed with him.
- Ryan, I think we should get going if I'm going to unpack before dinner. - I chuckle jokingly.
- You can unpack tomorrow too.... - He bites my earlobe.
- Ryan, the neighbors are watching. - I'm pointing this out to him.
- Let them watch. Let them watch and be jealous of such a wonderful guy. - I laugh and he lets me go.
We each get into our cars and drive off. The whole time we are connected by hands-free phone. Ryan, totally relaxed, says bawdy things to me and I reply with something even more nasty.
When we park in front of Ryan's house, he doesn't let me get my stuff out of the cars, but pulls me by the hand into the house. While still in the hallway we get rid of our shoes and shirts. With each kiss the atmosphere heats up more and more.
- How did you live so long without me, Ryan? - I ask, undoing his belt.
- And you without me? - he answers with a question to a question and kisses me again.
By the time we reach the bedroom, we are completely naked. Ryan sits down on the edge of the bed and pulls me closer to him.
- You're perfect, Brendon... - kisses me on the stomach.
- You're perfect too, Ryan. - I kiss him on the lips and push him into a lying position.
Ryan looks up at me with a smile and brings our sun and moon necklaces together again. I kiss him again and again, giving myself over to the pleasure of being with him.