one.

                                    

                                          

SUNNY *ೃ༄
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i sit here at this table full of married women. i look at their hands blinging diamonds. i look at mine. empty. nothing blinging. i have convinced everyone i love being alone, it showcases independence. but why can't i find someone to love?
why was i here? i'm not married. how did cara convince me to come? 
cara is my best friend. we've been friends since.. well forever. we've had our hardships of course, but that's my best friend. and my best friend invited me to this... dinner for married women. again, why did i let her convince me?
"cara! how are you and dane? how was the honeymoon, spill everything, girl!" coming from the whitest girl at the table, i think her name is kaitlyn? not that i care, i never want to socialize with these people ever after this.
"well... he's doing amazing, we just got our new home a week ago from the honeymoon... and well... too many details to go into." she giggles a little and everyone at the table burst into laughter. i laugh to seem interested in this boring conversation.
i met dane for the first time at a concert, her and i were just supposed to go to. was i upset she brought him without telling me? of course. but the both of them are married now.
i would've never thought they would even get married. they're so different. my opinion at least. and i don't know him enough to be making opinions so, nevermind.
"so, sunny.. is it?" great. my attention was towards kaitlyn who spoke again.
"i see you're not married." she said with looking at my hand. i felt embarrassed. i slowly started fidgeting with my fingers. 
"i am not." i say confidently, but me fidgeting my fingers looked as opposite. she slightly chuckles and looks at the girls next to her.
"how come you're here? i mean this is a dinner for married women; which you are not." i'm not gonna let this woman have me jump across the table. lord, so help me!!
"i invited her, because i barely know any of you. i needed someone that i knew with me." cara says sticking up for me. i wish she could say more. but this will do. 
"well maybe next time i need to make it clear, married women only." i rolled my eyes. i stood up and gestured to cara that we needed to leave. 
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"it was so painful to be there, c." i say to her on the drive to her house. she made this face feeling bad that she dragged me along. 
and as she should, i told that hoe i did not want to go and dragged me along anyway.
"well, do you... i know you hate this topic, but i'll bring it up anyway. do you want to get married? or start dating, again? " simply, yes and simply, no. i'm complicated.
"what about that handsome guy, tobais?  you could try it again?"
"cara, i thought we've been over this-" she cuts me off.
"you don't need a man you're independent! yes, we know! but sometimes you don't always need to take care of yourself. sometimes someone needs to take care of you. but not all the time, you need to acknowledge that self-worth." and she was right. i take care of myself all the time, when will i make room for someone to take care of me?