35. My favorite words..

                                    

                                          
Xiao Zhan had been lying on the floor for a while, tears streaming down his face but he couldn't bring them to stop. He felt pain, despair and anger. His anger wasn't directed to Yibo though, Zhan was angry at  himself. He shouldn't have said anything. He had not been happy keeping his feelings to himself but that discontentment was better than the blinding pain he felt now. Yibo didn't love him. The rejection was hard to deal with but along with it was the hard slap of reality. He had fucked up majorly. He buried his face in his hands thinking how would he deal with the mess he had made now. There was no chance he could stay with Yibo anymore. He would have to leave this place but what would become of Yunmeng if he left. He had been so fucking selfish. His one stupid decision had jeopardized the entire pack's well being. He could try to make Yibo understand and look for another way. Yibo had solidified the alliance but the year wasn't up yet. Zhan was a horrible person for even wishing he could stay with Yibo under the terms of their arrangement. Where the fuck was his self respect? He couldn't face Yibo after the stunt he had pulled. The mere thought of been in Yibo's presence was making him ill.
He had to get out of here. The walls of his own home were closing down on him and Zhan needed to go out to gather his thoughts. He had been rejected. The least he could do was take it in a dignified way. He wouldn't beg Yibo or act like a fool in front of him. 
Wiping his tears, Zhan stood up and left his room stopping in his tracks when he heard his door bell ring followed by loud, hard knocks on the door. The hair on the base of his neck stood up and Zhan didn't have to guess who was on the other side. Making sure there were no tear marks on his face he went to the door and opened it only to come face to face with Wang Yibo. His eyes landed on the man he confessed to minutes ago and just like that, all of his walls crumbled to dust. The familiar lump was back in his throat and his eyes prickled with tears again but Zhan bit his lips and dug his nails into his palms to hide his weakness. Wang Yibo was staring at him so intensely, Zhan had to look away and he cleared his throat, making sure his face was blank. "I get it. You didn't have to come here all the way to clear things up. I will leave if that's what you want. My pack shouldn't suffer for what I did. Can we just forget whatever I said? It should be easy enough for you. I am sure this kind of crap happens to you everyday. If you-" His babbling was cut off by a searing kiss that branded his fucking soul. Yibo kicked the door shut behind him and Zhan found himself pinned against the hard door with Yibo pulling at his clothes, snarling when the material didn't come off Zhan's body. The sound of fabric tearing was loud in the room and Zhan's nipples pebbled on exposure to the cold air. He didn't have to worry about the cold though. Not when Yibo's hot mouth was on his body making Zhan's blood heat up. Yibo pinned his lower body to Zhan's and Zhan felt Yibo's need for him hard against his thigh. Yibo palmed his ass and grinded against him, nibbling on his earlobes. Zhan was breathing hard against Yibo, his body no longer in his control but his mind screamed at him that this wasn't right. Zhan couldn't do this, not after everything that had happened. It took all the willpower he had to push Yibo away because if he slept with Yibo again, Zhan would lose himself.
 "S-Stop. Yibo." His words were ignored and Zhan's lips were meshed with Yibo's again but this time Zhan clamped his teeth hard on Yibo's lower lip, drawing blood. The man hissed and pulled back and Zhan's leaned against the door, his legs trembling. Yibo licked the red bead away with his tongue and his eyes bored holes into Zhan. "Why do you deny me what's mine?", growled Yibo and Zhan's eyes widened when Yibo's eyes turned golden. "W-We need stop this. Yibo, I..I can't do this anymore. Not when I know that you feel nothing for me." Zhan's voice was so hoarse, he barely recognised it and gathering the tattered shirt and his shattered heart, he walked away from Yibo needing to put some distance between them. "I love you, Yibo. You don't. If I don't stop myself now, I will be ruined. Please, don't..." His voice broke at the end and Zhan didn't know what he was asking Yibo for. To not hurt him anymore? To not touch him? To not reject his love? Tears gathered in his eyes but before they could fall, a warm pair of lips kissed them away. Zhan looked up to find Yibo before him and when he tried to take a step back, Yibo's hand curled around his waist and he was plastered against the man. "I won't stop myself, Xiao Zhan. I can't stop myself anymore. I gave you enough time to see how I feel but baby you are dense as fuck." Zhan's eyes furrowed at Yibo's words and Yibo kissed the man before him again, ecstatic that he didn't have to hold himself back anymore. "I wanted you since the moment I heard you laugh in my office. When you sat in my office trying to convince me to give your pack protection, all I wanted was to take you right there and have you all to myself. I have never wanted anyone like the way I wanted you, Xiao Zhan. But this need to have you wasn't entirely physical. I wanted to know you. Since that day, you have had power over me. You told me everything that happened led you to me. You couldn't be more wrong. I made it impossible for you to have any other destination than me. You would have ended up with me no matter what path you took, Zhan. I don't regret any of it. I gave you time to settle into my life. I have never hidden my intentions." "But why didn't you say anything on the phone", spluttered Xiao Zhan only for Yibo to laugh at him. "Because I was barely breathing. When your dreams become reality, there is a moment where you pinch yourself to make sure it isn't a lie. And you are my dream come true, Xiao Zhan." Xiao Zhan gazed up at Yibo and found nothing but adoration shining in those dark eyes. A smile was on Yibo's face and Zhan kissed Yibo with everything in him. Grabbing fistfuls of Yibo's hair, Zhan pulled him impossibly closer but he couldn't get close enough. His lips were molded to Yibo's but he couldn't kiss Yibo hard enough. "Say the words",he gasped against Yibo and when the man shook his head in a teasing no, Zhan pulled at those silky strands and plundered Yibo's mouth. "Say it", he demanded and his mate pulled back, framed his face and gently whispered the words Zhan had been longing to hear. " I love you, Xiao Zhan. I am yours."