A Secret

                                    

                                          
Abbreviations used:
Y/n: Your name
A/n: Author's note
Italics: Inner thoughts
Underline: Thoughts Xiao can hear
~᯽❥᪥ᴥ᪥❥᯽~
"Everyone's got a past. The past does not equal the future unless you live there."
~᯽❥᪥ᴥ᪥❥᯽~
Xiao's POV 
...An intensive feeling of.. deep affection... ... This must be what Venti meant. But that would mean... no! Nonono! It can't be! I am incapable and unworthy of it! Y/n on the other hand is capable and they deserve it! They deserve someone better than me... Upon thinking of Y/n being with someone else, an overwhelming feeling took over my senses. I felt some sort of pain and a strange feeling of wanting them to myself. 
"Xiao, are you ok?" Y/n interrupted my thoughts as they grip my left shoulder. 
"Yeah, I'm fine." I lied. But truthfully, I didn't know either. It's selfish of me to want Y/n to myself but here I am, unwilling to share. 
"If it's the voices or karmic debt-"
"It's not that. I was just thinking." I patted their hand. 
"Alright. Anyways, I should get going." 
"Going? Where to?"
"Anywhere with monsters." 
"How many camps have you obliterated?"
"Uhhhh... Too many to count." Y/n released me and started to make a move. I grabbed their hand, stopping them from leaving. Without thinking, I had pulled Y/n closer and embraced them from their back, holding their waist. "Eh!?"
"You're overworking.." I breathed out, trying to cover the fact that I had done such an affection action. For some reason, my heart began racing, faster than normal. But I didn't do anything strenuous? Why is this happening?
"Pshhh like you don't." 
"Hmph.. ... Can we... stay like this..?" My head was leaning on theirs as I whispered near their ears. 
"Huh? I mean- sure." I rested my head on their shoulders and sank near their neck. Their scent is always so calming and sweet, it also helps me calm down. Y/n placed their hands on mine and we stood there in comfortable silence. Hmm.. does Y/n love anybody..? If they do then.. ... How selfish of me.. to want them to myself.. but I also can't imagine seeing them with someone else, and if I do I feel.. weird..
"I never expected the Conqueror of Demons to make such an affectionate action. I wonder what the other Adepti would think." Y/n broke the silence and teased me. 
"Say a word to them and you're dead." 
"Haha relax! I'm kidding!" 
"Hmph.. just.. keep this between you and me."
"Alright, it's a deal." 
"I have a question.." I released Y/n so that they could face me. 
"What is it?"
".. Do you.. love somebody..?" I hesitated. Why was that so hard to ask?
"Love somebody? Hmm.. Well, I love you for one."
"Me?" What!?
"You are my closest friend after all."
"But.. isn't love for couples or something..?" Love is confusing..
"Ah right. That was just an example. Love can be between friends, family and lovers. You are basically family to me."
"So.. am I supposed to.. love.. you?" I'm confused...
"No, you're not supposed to- I mean- it depends on how you view it. Between friends, it doesn't have to be love, it could be like."
"Sigh... Where's Barbatos.. he needs to explain this.." Love is too complicated..
"Hmm.. I'm guessing that love is something Venti wants you to know about and learn. Oh, and if you're thinking that you're not worthy or capable. That's a full-on lie. You are capable, you just don't know how to. And you are more than worthy, you focus too much on your flaws. Nobody's perfect you know." How do you read my mind!? You can't hear me!
"Nobody's perfect? What about you? You never killed an innocent being. You're perfect in every way. My sins are unforgivable."
"That.. isn't true. I have had my fair share of crimes." Y/n's spirits soured quick. 
"... I shouldn't have said anything.."
"It's fine, Xiao. Nobody knows my past as clearly as I do." What could Y/n possibly have done..? ... it's rude of me to ask.
"If the past is what you wish for it to be, then so be it. You don't have to share your story." 
"Since it's the Conqueror of Demons, I shall share. It was before we met Morax before we encountered Her and before we even met. ... Let's take a seat. It's going to be a long story."
~᯽❥᪥ᴥ᪥❥᯽~
A/n:
I still have no Albedo yet TvT. My pity is like 70  now ;v;
How's your luck on the banners? 
Christmas is in 22 days! I don't really know what to do- ... suggestions?