Guilt Trip

                                    

                                          
  Peter groaned in agony as he plopped down with the rest of the group during breakfast. 
  James and Sirius were involved in a very spirited conversation and Remus was trying to keep them from getting detention for the raising of their voices. Lily hadn't come down yet, she insisted she needed this time for extra revisions and Alice had offered to help. So that left Fawn and Marlene to question Peter's outburst. 
  "What's wrong Peter?" Fawn asked, as the boy pushed around his eggs glumly.
    "I'm going to fail this test," he muttered. "I don't even know how I managed to get an E on the Transfiguration OWL." 
  "Well, clearly McGonagall thinks you're good enough, I'm sure you'll do fine." 
   Peter just sighed. "I guess." 
  Marlene had gotten caught up with a conversation with Dorcas and a few other fifth years so Fawn was left to do nothing but console the person who ruined the majority of the lives around her. 
  She knew better than to hope Peter wouldn't betray them. Fawn didn't play savior, it was never her thing. Besides, no one knew why Peter chose the path he did, and she certainly did not want to open that can of worms or risk feeling any sort of empathy for the boy. 
  Sometimes people just did things without good reason. Some people just ended up morally flawed no matter what a person did to help. A part of her even thought that perhaps someone as terrible as Snape may have more of a chance to get himself out of this mess than the rat did. 
  "Ready for Transfiguration Pete?" Sirius asked cheerfully as he leaned across the table to steal a piece of Remus' toast. 
  Whatever he and James had been conspiring had come to a stopping point and had left Sirius in a good mood. At least one far better than to be expected of someone having a NEWT level test in a challenging subject next class. 
  "No, I can't seem to get it." 
  "What can't you get specifically?" James asked, also leaning over, "Maybe I can help." 
   "I dunno. Everything." Peter slumped against the table. "I'm never gonna get a job," he mumbled. 
  "Nonsense! You know the whole section on Animagi and the processes surrounding that. And, you successfully were able to transform your finger nail into a claw. That's like at least half of it." 
   "Yeah, but it was supposed to be a whole talon, not just one claw. Besides, the Animagus thing was ages ago, what if I can't remember? I couldn't even remember all the defining traits of a Werewolf for crying out loud! I'm just daft." 
  Fawn had to keep herself from rolling her eyes. He was begging for attention and feeding off of it freely. The more he complained, the more he got. Even at sixteen he was a manipulative little shit, he knew exactly what he was doing. 
  "You'll be fine Peter. Now come on, we're gonna be late. Just study your notes on the way or something." 
  That was Sirius, no room for insecurity, Black. His family had so ingrained the no feelings mantra that he too was stone cold and lacking in empathy when it came to matters that were insignificant in the long run. In this case, it was a positive, other times, not so much. Though there was no time to unpack that, he was right, they were running very late. 
   "Why is it that it is always the Gryffindors that are late?" McGonagall asked as the group stumbled into the room. 
   Sirius shrugged as he took his spot beside James. "I couldn't tell you Minnie." 
  "I was studying!" Peter exclaimed from behind. 
   "Very well. Just sit down, we're already behind schedule. And Mr. Black?" 
  "Yes, Minnie?" 
  "It's Minerva, and you are only to refer to me as Professor McGonagall while you are a student at this institution. Understood?"
   "Yes Minerva."
  "Sirius shut up!" Fawn hissed. The boy was going to get detention if he kept this up. 
  "Everyone hush, put your materials away. All you will need is a quill and an ink pot," McGonagall instructed. "Alright everyone ready? Good. You may begin. You have fifty minutes." 
  By the end of the exam Peter was perspiring heavily, Lily was biting her nails while quadruple checking her answers, Marlene was attempting to levitate a ball made of parchment wandlessly, Alice was staring out the window lost in thought, James was doodling what vaguely looked like a flower, and Sirius was trying to get Remus' attention of whom was somehow taking a nap.   
  Fawn meanwhile was observing them all. She loved seeing everyone in their natural environments, seeing their quirks, nervous habits, times when they are completely unaware of everyone else, it was a very special experience to her. 
  "Alright, everyone put down your quills—that does not mean on Mr. Lupin's head." 
  A quill dropped on the floor while a sheepish Sirius leaned back into his chair. 
  "Good. Accio tests!" Twenty rolls of parchment came flying to McGonagall who quickly grabbed them and set them on her desk. "Now that I have your exams, you may be excused. Have a good weekend." 
  "Thank you Minnie. You're the best!" 
   She simply waved him off. "Get out of my classroom Mr. Potter." 
   "Yes Ma'am." 
   After dinner that evening, Fawn snuck away from the group who were chatting heartily in the common room. She needed answers. She couldn't just be expected to stay and wait patiently for the mysteries of June 18th, 1996 to be unraveled before her. That is why, at this moment, Fawn decided the restricted section of the library would be her best bet. 
  It was surprisingly easy to slip away. James was, as always, completely distracted by miss 'Lily flower,' which Lily had no problem ignoring as she and Alice studied together, Peter was chatting up Dorcas Meadows, which seemed to greatly annoy Marlene who had been in a passionate conversation with her about Quidditch, Remus was dozing off, book on chest, because the moon a few days ago had really taken everything out of him, and Sirius looked like he was doing homework, but if you looked closely, he was planning his next prank. 
   A moment later Fawn reached the Library. It was already past eight, which meant it would be closing soon, but she wasn't worried. 
  "The Library is closing," Madam Pince' slightly nasally voice rang out from behind the stacks. 
   "Yeah, sorry, last minute project. I really need to stop procrastinating," Fawn called back. 
   "Fine, five minutes." 
  "Er, well you see Madam Pince," Fawn said hesitantly, "my project is for History of Magic, specifically on Gellert Grindelwald's beliefs and legacy, and so I would need to visit the Restricted Section. Professor Binns has already approved it, did he not tell you that?" 
  Madam Pince looked over her desk at Fawn scrutinizingly, her spectacles sitting dangerously on the end of her pointed nose. "No Professor Binns did not tell me about that project. And, we do not authorize visitation to the Restricted Section without a signatured pass from your Professor and head of house." 
   Fawn sighed, she had lost, she knew that. 
  "Alright," she pouted. "I suppose I'll just have to get a Troll on this assignment that is worth a quarter of my grade. I really wanted to be a Historian. Thank you Madam Pince, you've just ruined a poor girl's dreams." 
  "Don't try that on me young lady. I have been working here for upwards of thirty years, your guilt tripping tactics fall on deaf ears." 
  Returning back to her dormitory Fawn huffed in frustration. What Professor would ever authorize her use to find out the secrets and the science behind the veil in the Department of Mysteries? The amount of questions that would come from that would be astounding, and certainly unanswerable without changing the whole ideology behind time travel. 
  But if she never knew, then she knew she could never go back.