Firefighter Down

                                    

                                          
After breakfast, Kelly and I were sitting on the couch talking like we use too. We were talking about our halloween costumes we wore durning our senior year. We had dressed up as Bonnie and Clyde and everyone loved it. We started to talk about the other costumes we saw at school that year which caused us to start laughing. 
                          
Once our laughter had calmed down. I noticed Kelly had a serious but soft expression on his face. "What is it Kelly?
                          
"I just... I happened to noticed you still have your tattoo."
                          
I can feel my cheeks becoming warm and red with embarrassment. "Yeah I could never bring myself to get it covered up. I had a few designs drawn up but I never went through with it." I take a sip of my coffee. "I noticed you still had yours as well." 
                          
"Couldn't cover it up." 
                          
And there's that Kelly Severide charming smile. The smile that had melted so many hearts and made you just want to jump into his arms. But there was still this nagging voice in the back of my head telling me to let him go. And to move on. 
                          
"Taylor?"
                          
"Hm?" 
                          
"I know earlier I said we didn't have to figure out what we were right now but what do we do about Michael? If this doesn't go anywhere I don't want Michael being caught in the cross fire." 
                          
I knew Kelly was right. We couldn't let Michael think we were back together if this didn't work but I didn't want to let Kelly go. "We keep it between us and Shay. We act as if nothing has changed. But we only sleep with each other and hang out when one of our parents has Michael." 
                          
"I can agree too that." 
                          
"Good." I smiled and he opened his arms. I crawled over to him and rested my head on his chest. The sound of his heart began to thump in my ear. Maybe this could work? Maybe I could handle Kelly being a firefighters 
                          
But then everything changed again. 
                          
***
                          
It had been 6 months since Kelly and I decided to give us a try again but we didn't tell anyone. The only other person who knew was Shay. A few others had asked questions since we always seem to leave Molly's together but we just waved them off. So we then started to stagger when one of us would leave. 
                          
We were getting ready to tell our parents and Michael that we were back together. I really thought the could work and that I could get pass the whole firefighter thing. 
                          
I was sitting in my room doing homework for one of my law classes when my phone started to ring. I look down at the screen and see Shays name. I answer the call and put her on speaker as I continue to write down my answers to the questions in the book. 
                          
"Hey Shay. What's up?" 
                          
"Taylor..." The sound of Shay's instantly made my blood pressure spike. "Are you sitting down?"My pencil dropped from my hand and a lump in my throat formed. 
                          
I swallowed the lump. "Yes." I knew this was bad. I was trying to brace myself for what Shay was about to say. 
                          
"It's.... It's Andy...." Shay's voice cracked as she spoke. 
                          
The tears begin to form in the corners of my eyes. Andy was one of my best friends and Kelly's. "How bad is it?"
                          
All I heard was silence and then Shay began to sob. I knew exactly what this meant. Andy was gone. "NO!!!" I scream as I throw my law textbook at the wall where it fell with a loud thud. 
                          
"Taylor, Kelly isn't taking it well at all. He's at Molly's drinking." 
                          
"I'll...I'll go talk to him. I just need a minute." It felt like my world was spinning again. How many people was I going to lose to a fire? 
                          
"Of course. Matt and Chief Boden are on their way to tell Heather."
                          
"Okay. Thanks Shay." We end our phone call and I curled up into a ball on my bed and begin to sob. This couldn't be happening. Not yet another person I have lost due to being a firefighter. 
                          
***
                          
I take a look in my rearview mirror and noticed my eyes are red and puffy. My face had tear tracks going down my cheeks. I try to wipe them away but it was no use. I would forget Andy was gone for a second but then remember he wasn't coming home, which caused more tears. 
                          
I gather myself and step out of my car and head inside to Molly's. I look around and notice a good portion of firehouse 51 was here. I spot Kelly at the bar so I walk over and take a seat next to him. 
                          
"Kelly?" He stops picking at the label on his beer bottle to look up at me. I can see how broken he was. His blue eyes seemed so dark and distant. "Do you want to talk about it?" 
                          
"There's nothing to talk about Taylor. Andy is gone and he is never coming back. Heather lost her husband and their boys lost their father." Kelly's words stung my heart. 
                          
I close my eyes for a second trying to control my tears. Once I felt strong enough I opened them to look at Kelly. "Come on Kelly let's get you home." I pull on his arm but he doesn't move. "Come on Kelly you have had enough to drink." I pull a card from my wallet and hand it too Lisa, the bartender, to close out Kelly's tab. 
                          
I pull on Kelly's arm once more and he moves to get up. I help him put on his black leather jacket. But as we were getting ready to leave Matt and Chief Boden walked in. I saw Kelly's eyes go from dark and distant too red and filled with rage. 
                          
"Are you happy Matt?!" Kelly moves around me and took a few steps towards Matt. 
                          
"You should have vented the back!" I personally had never seen Matt mad so I was a little taken aback by his response. 
                          
"Squad doesn't vent!" 
                          
"Oh excuse me! I forgot squad is to good to vent. You guys are the kings of Chicago!" Matt had started to move towards Kelly but chief Boden grabbed his arm and held him back. "It's your fault Andy is dead!" 
                          
"Fuck you Matt!" Kelly goes to punch Matt but I catch his arm and start to pull him back. But Kelly was a lot stronger than me. I was 110 soaking wet and only 5'4". 
                          
Kelly's face turned towards me and the person I saw was not the Kelly Severide I knew. This Kelly Severide was full of rage and anger. It was as if his blue eyes had turned red and they were glaring down at me. 
                          
I was still pulling Kelly's arm back but in one swift motion Kelly yanked his arm from grasp. The sudden, strong movement caused me to lose my balance. I fell to the ground smacking my head on one of the wooden tables. 
                          
I laid on the ground and heard my name a few times but couldn't move and then everything went back.