12

                                    

                                          
Warnings:
-Throwing up/nausea
-Chemotherapy 
-Panic attack 
                          
Clay's POV 
                          
I was shaking while crying as I sat on my bed, sniffing loudly while I tried to get my breathing back to normal.
                          
I just heard I needed chemotherapy and we would start today. I panicked completely and had such a bad panic attack that hyperventilated for an hour, ran away and then cried in my dad's arms for hours.
                          
I was currently sitting on my bed as the doctor inserted the IV in my hand. 'I don't want to, I don't want to!' I yelled out, having tears streaming down my face.
                          
The doctor hung up a back full of my chemo medication and attached it to my IV.
                          
⚠️ Panic attack
                          
'No!' I shouted as I tried to escape. My dad had to hold me tightly and laid down next to me on my bed as I started screaming. 
                          
'Honey, it's going to be okay,' he whispered with tears in his eyes. 'I'm here with you.'
                          
I couldn't stop crying anymore and saw the substance flowing through the IV, into my veins. 'STOP, PLEASE,' I cried. 'TURN IT OFF!'
                          
I tried to run away again and started hitting my dad to get out of his tight grasp. 'LET ME GO,' I screamed out. 'LET ME GO NOW.'
                          
He held me really tightly so I couldn't run away while I cried loudly and got hiccups because of the lack of air. I never had a worse panic attack than I had now and it was so bad that I was actually accepting death at this point. 
                          
⚠️ Over
                          
My father held very tightly for the rest of the chemo and when it was over, I sat back in my bed. I was completely exhausted after I cried and panicked for hours. 
                          
When it was over, I looked up when someone knocked on my door. My dad stood up to open it and I smiled shortly as two boys came in.
                          
'This is so random,' one of them started. 'But I was in the hospital and you told me you had your first chemo today. I'm Sapnap! This is my friend, George.'
                          
I smiled shortly and lifted myself up.
                          
'Is it better if we leave?' he asked as he saw me wipe my tears away.
                          
'No,' I whispered, curling myself up like a ball as I closed my eyes shortly, opening them again.
                          
'I'll leave you for a bit,' my dad smiled as he walked off, letting George and Sapnap sit down.
                          
'We were here for George's-,' he tried to explain but George hit his shoulder.
                          
'You know- a charity!'
                          
Sapnap frowned and then nodded slowly. 'Charity?'
                          
'Yes. Charity,' George repeated, pausing between the words.
                          
'Charity? Isn't that next week?' I asked confusedly.
                          
'Uh-,' George mumbled. 'Wrong date!'
                          
I giggled slightly and sighed softly after that. 'I'm so incredibly scared,' I mumbled.
                          
Sapnap scooted closer to me and held my hand. 'Do you have a favourite YouTuber?' Sapnap asked as he smiled at me.
                          
I nodded slowly and told them the name. Sapnap lifted his bag up. 'I brought my laptop since I came from school. Do you want to watch a video? I think George likes this YouTuber too, maybe he has a new video.'
                          
I smiled. 'I'd like to.'
                          
Sapnap put his laptop on my shins so we could all watch and I sometimes smiled a bit when I found the video funny.