CHAPTER 39

                                    

                                          
NICCOLO'S POV 
                          
She comes out, wearing the shirt in question. Who's is it? I can't ask, she hates me. I want to though.
                          
"Thankyou" she whispers, softly. "Im sorry i didn't mean to bother you, i should've just said im busy or-"
                          
"Why are you apologising?" i ask. She's not looking at me and its killing me. "Aria, im so sorry baby, i hate not being with you, im such a fuck up amore and I know I don't deserve you, i never will, but i cant live without you, its causing me pain, i love you, so much Im so sorry".
                          
She shakes her head and my heart drops. Stop you pussy.
                          
"It- its okay" she whispers. "I dont make much and especially compared to you, so i dont know why took offence to it"
                          
"No, no baby, fuck how much you or me make. I love you and im so sorry i said whatever bullshit came out" My breathing is heavy. 
                          
"Niccolo" Fuck fuck, i want her to say Nick. "I-" she pauses. "8 months ago, i thought i couldn't stay without him, that if i left i wouldn't survive. Ive spent 5 years feeling suffocated and like im not enough, i cant anymore. I understand the difference in caliber and its fine really. But i just think that because of these differences we shouldn't be together. Not if im going to feel like this. Not if it makes me want to go to d-do" she stops. 
                          
"I still have the apartment, i can just live there again-"
                          
"Aria" My voice sounds strange. It sounds pathetic and sad. "Dont do this".
                          
"I have to, we don't go together-" 
                          
"But we do, we do, it feels right, i love you, im in love with your face, your heart, your eyes. I love when you seek comfort and Im the giving it to you, it feels like we belong together, im not letting you do this Aria. I love you, you're mine and im yours I-" i stop. Im may be tensed. What the fuck do I do. I look into her eyes and i see pain. Pain that i caused. 
                          
Fuck.
                          
ARIA'S POV
                          
His face is panicked, ive never seen him like this. I dont like it, he's always composed and i dont like him like looking at him when he looks, sad almost.
                          
"Niccolo" i breathe. I love him too. So much. But if our differences are too great for him to not notice then i dont see how this can work. "Im sorry, we have to, theres no other way"
                          
He looks into my eyes and shakes his head. Then he does something that shocks me to my core.
                          
He's down on both knees, hugging my stomach, face pressed against me. 
                          
"No" he growls. "You're mine Aria" his hold tightens. Tears are streaming down my face. What do i do, this is so hard. Without thinking, i put my hand in his hair. 
                          
"Baby, there is no other place id be, im a screw up, but if you leave me, i- I dont know what id do. Please, forgive me amore i cannot live without you. There is no one else Aria" His voice isn't breaking, i know he isnt crying, but somehow he sounds so sad, desperate. 
                          
I hate that, i want him to always be Nick, strong and firm, i want him to be the same person who pretends to not care, but holds so much love and empathy inside. 
                          
Standing there, listening to his words and my thoughts, i realise i dont care if we can. We have to. This is us. It feels right, so it has to work. I sit on my knees making him look at me.
                          
"Im sorry" he whispers. "I shouldnt have said things i dont mean, i never will mean them. Im weird i get defensive and talk shit but ill try to change, i love you too much"
                          
I shake my head and hug him. 
                          
Its been maybe 40 minutes. Im in Nicks lap, he's holding me to him.
                          
"Will you come back home to me?" he asks. I pull back and look at his lips. I missed him. I nod and kiss him.