Two mentally ill teens,
Both dealing with trauma in different ways,
One overthinks and stays to help others,
One never opens up and cant trust anyone,
Both not knowing how to love yet one fell for the other,
You see the problem.
...
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Thursday 24th May 2021
No-one tells you how hard it is to forget someone you don't want to forget,
No-one tells you how hard a forced goodbye is,
When the person that you cared so deeply about turns their back to you,
When the person you would do anything for just leaves you without a single word.
You seem to learn from that and learn you are safter or/and stronger by yourself. That dosent stop the blame and the guilt you feel that comes after it though. You blame yourself for what happened and you put your walls up once again after trusting them, which turned into a stupid thing to do. You take up silly things just to feel numb because you cant take the emotional pain from it.
Most of the things you take up harm yourself and your body like smoking, drugs, alcholism and self harm. Not only because you want to feel numb but to escape the reality you call life, to escape the reality you actually let someone in. You allow this human to know more then others and it backfired so you feel stupid. The one person you finally opened up to left and you blame your self.
You learn to never trust a single being again, To never expect people to stay just because they said they would. You learn to hate the world for what happened and always expect the worst from eveyone.
It does get to a point were you get over them and your mind isn't filled with them every second of the day but then you start thinking about them again so you beat yourself up again. You question yourself on why you are thinking of the person that hurt you so badly and the cicle begins again, The drinking, The drugs, Everything. Therefor you turn into a different person. So you get use to it and then it sticks.
I hear my bedroom door slowly creak as it opens and Athena comes running in and jumps on my bed. She licks my face and then walks to the end of the bed and curls up.
"Try and get some sleep baby." My mums voice is heard her thick spanish accent poking through. I turn my head and flip my hair over my shoulder and give her a nod and a small smile back. She flicks the light off and shuts the door again and I let out a sigh slumping down and just look at Athena.
"What am I going to do huh? It's been a year and I still can't get over him." Athena's head shoots up and she turns it and I let a puff of air flow out my nostrails.
"Yeah same." I chuck the book on my bed side table lay down my hair going everywhere on my pillow. I face the celling and follow all the patterns on the it. My phone pings and the screen comes alive lighting the dull room full of darkness.
I turn to my side and grab my phone off the side pulling out the charger and looking at the screen.
Asia
Hey there is a party on saturday. We are going.
I groan and just put my phone back down. I'll deal with that another day, let's just deal with the fact I have to go to school tomorrow and I have nothing to get me through the day.
I turn back around and face the other way to my phone ignoring the pingging coming from it untill someone phones.
"For fuck sake." I groan out and grab it again. I look at the ID and consider answering Theo. After a few more rings I slowly press the answer button.
"Hello." I say into the phone as loud music booms through the line.
"Hey baby I need help, I can't drive." Theo slurs through the phone and my blood runs cold at how drunk and no dout high he is.
"Ok, send me where you are." After that the line just ends and I let out a heavy breath I didn't relize I was holding. I drop me phone onto my bed and stand up. I take off my sleeping shorts and pull on some jeans then a hoodie.
My phone lights up and I see Theo's text. 'What's he doing at a club?'
I grab my keys and phone stuffing them into my back pockets on my jeans and making my way down the stairs.
"I'm going to go and get Theo, I'll be back soon!" I shout as I get to the bottem of the stairs. I open the front door and close it then locking it.
I pull my arms over my chest as a small breeze picks up and blows under the oversize hoodie I have on and send goosebumps over my stomach. All that is heard is the scrapping of my shoes and the clatter of my teeth as I walk to the club a few blocks away.
As I reach the club the loud music vibrates the floor and the smell of hard liquor and drugs take over the night air. Theo is pearched up against a wall talking with some of his friends.
"Baby!" He slur shouts across the car park and starts stumbling towards me. His eyes search my body and he licks his dry lips, as he reaches me he grabs me by the waist and starts kissing my neck.
"Stop Theo you're drunk and high." I say but he dosen't, "Theo I said stop." I pull Wordhis hands from my waist and shrug him off.
"What!" He snaps and grabs me wrist, "What is the fucking matter with you."
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Words: 964
A/n: This is clearly different from the first time I wrote the chapter. The story will not change there will just be new things added to make more of a flow to a timeline.
