Chapter 58

                                    

                                          
A/N- buckle up... it's going to be a hell of a ride. 
                          
Lizzie's POV 
                          
The drive back is really quiet, Rose as usual when travelling has fallen asleep and Alexa has fallen asleep next to her. "Do you think she'll be cleared to start school on Monday?" Scarlett asks me looking back at our sleeping daughters. 
                          
"I think so, she might have to take it easy, but She should be good to go." I reply. As much as I love having her with me at all times, I know it'll probably be good for her to make some friends and get to experience high school properly. 
                          
"At least it's only 4 weeks, it'll ease you both into it" Scarlett says with her signature smirk, I roll my eyes chuckling softly "Is it that obvious?" I question, scrunching my face up. "To me it is, you forget how well I know you lizzybear." Scarlett teases me with a nickname I haven't heard in forever. 
                          
"Also, I hated when Rose started pre school. Even though it's only 2 days a week, I miss her when she's not with me." Scar continues and she's right, I will miss her being with me. Part of me, a very selfish part of me, wishes she didn't want to go to school and I could just keep her in our little safe bubble but that wouldn't be fair. 
                          
"I'm just glad she'll have Keen looking out for her, he's a good kid and I know if anything happened he'd tell Mark or me." I say, mostly reassuring myself once again thankful for the people I have in my life, we fall back into a comfortable silence as I keep driving. 
                          
We get closer to my apartment, needing to pick up a couple of things and to drop Scarlett off for her car. I notice Scarlett's leg bouncing up and down slightly as she gazes out the window. 
                          
"Are you okay?" I ask trying to get her attention, she's completely focused on the world outside she doesn't respond, I put my hand on top of her leg.  "Scar?" I say again giving her a slight squeeze. "Yeah what? Sorry I didn't realise you were talking to me." She says briefly looking at me not making eye contact. 
                          
"What's on your mind?" I ask softly, Scarlett takes a breath and glances over at me again. "I don't know what to do Lizzie" she whispers, I instantly know she's talking about Colin. I guess it's dawned on her that she'll be heading home to see him within the hour. 
                          
"What can I do to help?" I ask her sincerely, I hate seeing her upset. "Can I just let my thoughts out and have you just listen?" She asks and of course I agree, she hasn't wanted to talk about the whole situation and I can only imagine it's eating her up inside. 
                          
"I... didn't think about him once yesterday, I left home after another argument that he insisted on having in front of my 4 year old 2 days ago, we haven't spoke since, he hasn't checked in and neither have I." She admits, I'm a bit shocked I've never known Colin to not send even a text to make sure she's okay. 
                          
"I just have so many things going through my head, what happened to us? We've never been in a situation like this, it's the same arguments over and over, I won't change who I am as a friend or a just as a person to please him. At this point what am I fighting for? Is there even a marriage left to save?"
                          
She looks at me with her eyes glossed over she's holding back the tears as she always does. "I love him, but I don't think I'm in love with him anymore Lizzie. When I used to think about our future I imagined us having another baby, taking family vacations all of it. I don't see that in our future anymore. I don't see him in my future." She whispers towards the end, wiping a tear from her cheek as I park the car. 
                          
I didn't realise things were as bad as they are, she never made it known. I feel ridiculously selfish for making the past few days about me when she's had all of this going on. I thought they'd work it out, I thought it was just a blip and they'd need a day to themselves to realise they've been overreacting...