Do you ever forget something? And if you don't forget, is it possible to forgive them? See, I'm not talking about the small things like forgetting to feed the dog and he starves for an hour longer than normal. No, things like that are forgettable.
I'm talking about pain, real physical and mental pain that someone puts you through. Is that forgettable and is it even forgivable? Every day I want to forget that Marnie is dead, I want to forget so I can move on with my life but can I move on with my life forgetting a girl like her? I want to forgive her for killing herself because she had reason, but I can't because she left me here alone without her.
Can we not forget but forgive?
When I was 15 years old, Austin came into my room when I was sleeping and cut half of my hair. I forgave him because I ended up with a nice hair cut after we fixed it, but I never forgot about it.
I believe it depends on a person, whether the person holds a grudge or not and if they're so selfish they don't care enough to fight for whatever is worth fighting for.
And I wonder what holding a grudge is and why a person would ever do that. If you really cared about a person and what they mean to you, isn't forgetting the best option? Not only forgiving but forgetting.
Am I holding a grudge on Marnie or am I just angry?
January 2nd, 2012—3:30 p.m.
It's beautiful, absolutely beautiful from this view. I can see buildings cascading for miles and miles with the river running long and wide. It's a different kind of beautiful, because it doesn't have the blue water you would see in some kind of Caribbean area, nor is it beauty in the ways of long green fields that continue to run for days. No, this is an old beauty. This is a timeless beauty. Just seeing the buildings, I can see the weathering on them, the timeless beauty that is etched in the walls of each building.
"See Big Ben out there?" Harry smiles and points out the other side, "and the Buckingham Palace, it's at the very end of that building" I walk over and look at the beautiful skyscrapers.
Harry wraps his arm around my waist and we just sit there, in innocence, in silence. I know he isn't looking out the window; he's looking straight at me, smiling at his own sight in front of him. I contemplate saying something to him, like stop staring you crazy. But I don't. Because I enjoy him admiring me.
Sometimes I wonder if Marnie knew I would bump into them again. I wonder if Marnie said something to one of them before she died, to get them to annoy me until I gave up. I wonder, sometimes, I wonder if she's ever standing right next to me. In my eyes, she's happy for me. Marnie is smiling at me, just like Harry is right now.
"What are you thinking?" he asks, leaning down and setting his chin on my shoulder
"Just thank you Harry" I smile at him, only to keep my gaze outside at the beautiful landscape.
"I don't know for what, but you're welcome" a simple kiss on my cheek is placed and the warmth of him disappears "we don't have much time left, but have some more wine with me?" he pours it into a glass
"Weren't we supposed to be on a plane today?" reality hits me, school starts back up in three days and I haven't even looked at my homework. Here I am, screwing around in London when I should be doing my homework. I should be getting ready to go back to school and catch up with my parents
Harry hands the glass to me and smiles, "we can catch the next plane whenever. Let's find Marnies gift and then we can go" I don't fight him, just take the glass and sip at the second glass of the day. I don't fight him because part of me doesn't want to leave me or this moment. I can really be content with standing in this glass ball for hours, days with Harry.
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Curiosity
FanfictionI want to die. No, not that, I want to feel the sensation of death. I want to know what it's like for after death. I've always been intrigued by it ever since I was five. I watched a movie where a kid can see dead people and the person helping him i...