Chapter 13

                                    

                                          
"So are you going to move in with him?" Andrea asked.
                          
    She, mom, and I were out at lunch and I just finished telling her about the key.
                          
"I don't know. Doesn't this seem kind of fast. What about my house? I own the thing." I replied. 
                          
"I don't think I'd call it fast. You two have been dating for six months." Mom said.
                          
"As far as your house goes, you could always rent it out, or he could move in with you." Andrea tossed out.
                          
"I'll think on it, but I can't move him into my house." I replied. 
                          
"Why not?" Mom asked.
                          
"Because that was my home with the guys. It just feels wrong." I stated.
                          
"You let Dylan move in. What's the difference?" Andrea questioned. 
                          
"Because that was Dylan. It's just different." I said. 
                          
"It's different alright." Andrea grumbled. 
                          
"What's that supposed to mean?" I snapped. 
                          
"It means that even after all these years and everything he's done, you're still in love with him." Andrea grit out. 
                          
"Bullshit. I loved Trey and Liam with my whole heart. They were it for me,  so excuse me for not wanting to move someone else into our home." I spit back.
                          
"That's not what I meant. Obviously you loved them. I'm pretty sure those were the only two people capable of breaking you away from him, but now they're gone and you have locked yourself into this ridiculous limbo of mourning them and being stuck on him." Andrea declared, "I don't know what happened between you two at New Year's, but he left you. Once again he did not pick you Arden. Why can't you see that you deserve better than him?"
                          
"I don't want him!" I declared on a sob, "I don't want anything to do with him. I know he didn't pick me. He never does. He can't even pick me as a friend much less anything else. He just takes and takes, and then he on to the next one. I'm not blind, but what if the problem is me not him? What if Jeff leaves too? I can't lose anyone else dammit." 
                          
    I couldn't quit crying then. Mom moved closer and wrapped her arms around me to try and console me.
                          
"Sweetheart, you can't keeping doing this to yourself. The problem isn't you. You deserve to be happy. You have to know that Trey and Liam wouldn't have left if they had a choice. Your dad leaving wasn't your fault either. He was a selfish ass who could think about anyone other than himself. I don't know why Dylan does the things that he does, but I do know that it's not right. It's also not your fault. I know that you love him, but you have to let him go. Really let him go. You can't leave him any room in your heart or he's just going to keep doing this to you. Move in with Jeff. Don't move in with him. We don't care baby. We just want you to be happy. We want you to find someone that you love and who loves you back." Mom said as she wiped away my tears. 
                          
"We're in our thirties Ards. I want to see you find someone to grow old with. I want you to have what I have with Matt." Andrea pleaded quietly.
                          
"I don't know how." I sobbed, "I had it. I had two amazing guys, and I don't know how to come back from this. I don't know how to let go of Dylan. I don't know anything anymore."
                          
"Why don't you take a leave of absence at work? You could spend the next six months traveling. Start all the way over." Mom said.
                          
"I can't dump everything on Matt." I replied. 
                          
"I'll step in. My gallery practically runs itself. Just because I choose not to run the business doesn't mean I can't. I think your mom's idea is a good one." Andrea replied.